Eleven and a half please

Weight: 12stone

I am going to do this. I feel 11 and a half stone looming beautifully on the horizon and at 11.3 I can fit into most of my clothes. I had a good day yesterday and, with the exception of a few buttons, I followed it pretty much to the letter.

Water actually does help you lose weight. I ate an ENORMOUS dinner of the permitted variety and did not put on weight.

I am beginning to get the family on board and understand the way it works. I eat dinners, not lunches or teas or cooked breakfasts. I have my yucky little meal replacements and I get thin. Got it? I just about have. I am excited about losing weight. It's now my new hobby. It may even be my job.

Chocolate buttons do not make you thin. I really should not have a huge jar of Montezuma's giant chocolate buttons in the kitchen. All I do is eat them.

I have just reread the client's charter on Lighter Life and there are certain things that need to be taken to task. Firstly, talking about certain foods. Secondly, talking about me. I am tempted to raise these issues in the next meeting. There's nothing more boring or unhelpful than some sod going on and on about their yummy macademia nuts or maltesers. After all I don't decide to rave about montezuma's giant buttons. If anyone ever says they've seen me at a Lighterlife meeting they will be dead. Teacher, please note.

I must stop eating crap

Weight 12.1
Well pissed off today as I wanted to be 11 stone something and I am not. This is probably because I keep tipping loads of wine, chocolate, sandwiches and anything else I can down my big fat throat. I did swim yesterday but then hit the bar afterwards in a stupid moment.

May today be better - please.

The masterplan

Still 12 bloody stone!

Oh well, I have been drinking far too much wine so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised and I forgot that pizza is like poison to my body. It goes all large in response.

However, yesterday I did manage a fairly perfect LL day. I don't like the meal replacements but I just think of them as magic medicine that will make me thin.

How long will this take? Let's see. Maybe 4 pounds a week and I have about 20 pounds to lose. Gosh that's a mere 5 weeks until some of my clothes fit. Then we have Christmas which will probably be a bit tricky. Then back on track in Jan ready to get the last bits off for the Caribbean holiday in Feb. What a masterplan.

Twelve stone

Weight 12stone 0lbs
I am now two and a half stone overweight as opposed to three stone. Lighter Life may be vile and it may be expensive but it truly works.

The pee stick is dead weird. You have these little sticks that you pee on and, a bit like a pregnancy tester, the end changes colour depending on how you are doing. Mine went off the scale in the dark red zone. Apparently I need to drink more water. Oh yes, I'd forgotten about that. I'd been buzzing around all day with only time for one cup of tea in Selfridges. I must stock up on waters so I can carry a small bottle with me in my bag.

It works

Weight: 12.2

I haven't managed to give up alcohol. In fact on Thursday I got very drunk. However, over the weekend I really got into the diet and now it's going better. You have to think of the potions like medicine that will make you thin. Some of them are nasty medicines. But they do make you lose weight. I am doing well and to be honest, this is about day 4 rather than the prescribed day 7.

At Zumba yesterday I was the fattest in the class, by a long way. It was dispiriting. I now know why I am doing this. I absolutely have to lose weight. I also booked a Caribbean holiday in February and for that I most definitely cannot be this fat. Oh no sir.

Disaster Day

I ate my diet then felt hungry so ate everything I could. I then felt ill. I don't think chocolate, cheese and wine mix well with diet potions. I will be better today. But I don't think I'll ever ditch everything. It's too drastic. Maybe I should give myself a no alcohol 2 weeks. That should do the trick.