Friday, 12 December 2014

1720

12 stone 2lbs.  I have lost 10lbs in a week.  This is terrifying.  I cannot even feel exhilarated.  I feel nervous. I need to gain weight just to make me feel normal.  I feel sick.  I feel weird.  I cannot eat.

Today is the first time I have eaten since Monday.  I have been barred from the pub but I don't really care.  I did care.  I cared a lot.  But today I think Glen the Good is a drunk idiot, his partner isn't much better and their pub is a dive.  Thank god I no longer need to go there.

I am so thin.  My face in concave.  Clothes I haven't worn for years fit.  This is odd.  I like it but it is happening a bit too fast.  I feel so strange.  Of course I am not thin at all.  I am 12 stone with flab.

Today I ate lovely red soup and bread and butter at the hotel where I swim - my club.
Then this evening I had chicken stew with a slice of bread and butter.  And lots of wine.  I laughed a lot with lovely Mr Smith and I feel SO much better.

With a bit more effort I could make it down to below 12stone.  Hey, that would be good.

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