12.3

I stopped drinking alcohol every night.  I also suspect my scales are lying.

12.12

Oh bollocky bollocks.
Admittedly I hit the chocolate and booze and some really really good food. I didn't do any fast days at all.  Right back to Monday and Thursday.

12.9

Woops.  I did eat a great deal of cake yesterday and a HUGE roast pork dinner.  It was all lovely.  I am not.

12.7

Weight did drop to 12.5 but I am now back to my normal self having taken my Great Big Cake to Earls Court and feeling a bit less angst about the cow.  I have my appetite back and yesterday just ate everything I could get into my big fat gob.  Time to pay attention again.  I swam on Friday and it felt great.  just 30 mins.  Just what I needed.

12.6

Cor, that's a bit better.  Clothes should start fitting soon.  have taken absolutely no exercise lately, no time.  Must sort that out.

Must remember to eat.  Hate food, too wound up with non sticking fibreglass.  I am having such a hard time.

12.8

Blimey, after a choccy bic too.  I haven't taken any exercise ... Maybe when I do I will do even better.  happy me.

12.8

How brilliant is that. Drank whole bottle of sparkly stuff last night .... Oh dear.  Made amazing fish soup.  Whole kitchen and beyond is stinky fishy.  I felt that I sat down and ate a really nutritious meal last night for once.

12.9

So angst and worried about cows, not sleeping, no appetite ... The only good thing is the weight loss.
Trying not to drink so much wine. Have joined SOTB - stay off the booze, an interesting thread within the WLR (weight loss resources) forum.  Lots of like minded women who obviously enjoy writing and write well.  It's informative and fun and really helps giving up drink which in turn really helps weight loss.

12.13

I have been pretty good on the 2:5 diet and deserve to be a lot lighter than this.  I have swum my socks off and eaten sensible food etc.  This is most frustrating.  Thursday, so it's a fast day today where I try and eek out the 500 cals and stay off the cupcakes.

12.11

Following 2:5 diet as seen on tv, or Iplayer in our case.  2 days a week you eat 500 cals or less, other days you eat normally.  My fast days are Mon and Thurs.  I have been pretty much rubbish at it so far.  However, weight looks down so we will see.

13 stone

I have a feeling I have been here before.  I feel like an elephant today.  I have a period and am very bloated as well as very fat.

12.12

None of my clothes fit.  All my trousers hurt or fail to meet in the middle by about 6 inches.  I HAVE to lose weight.  I would get a personal trainer but I might eat him.  I will have to diet.  Really.

12.11 I think

Scales are misbehaving giving all sorts of odd readings.  Oh well, I will soldier on and hope they break completely.

12.11

Had an odd moment of elation when the scales read 12.6 but they weren't flat on the floor!  Oh dear.  There is only one way to do this; weigh and log every last thing that goes in my mouth.

12.11

I feel as though I have eaten two enormous bags of lead and drunk two gallons of water. I am so hefty today. Bloated.

12.11

The ghastly reality is 1,000 calories is a fly's armpit of a daily intake. But if I want to lose weight that's all I can l have. Maybe a bit more but only 1,200 with an absolute top of 1,400 if I climb K2 and swim the Nile for exercise. Sad.

12.12

Perfect day yesterday but I feel I ate only enough to keep a fly alive, not even a very fat fly. Oh well, I will be thinner soon.

12.13

Dreadful weekend. Actually it could have been worse but I put on weight. I did swim but I also made and ate coffee walnut cake, on the surmise that I hate coffee but I still ate it, too much of it. Need to drink more water.

12.12

Pooing most efficiently, or bigly and oft. However, not losing weight as firstly, taking no exercise and secondly, eating too much. The right things are going in but a bit too heavy in quantity.

12.11

Damned nutritionist, Jack, seems to be in love with me. All the signs are there - far too keen. I wouldn't mind but he looks like a psychopath, a Jewish psychopath. Oh well, I should be flattered but actually I am annoyed because he's a very useful tool as a food/diet advisory service but I just want to steer clear. He is a bit bossy which I find annoying, going on and on about how to get a book refund when I don't want to get a book refund.

12.10

Found to my horror I had been charged £85 by some diet company on my credit card. When I looked into it I found it was something brilliant I had signed up for last year and actually I will not cancel it but use it. Weightloss Resources. If you manage the tedious task of listing everything you eat it does a marvellous pie chart showing you how much carb/protein/fat you are eating but as I have no idea how it should look I am not much the wiser. Anyway, I am losing weight and that is a good thing.

12.12

Searching frantically around the kitchen trying to find something low GL for snacks. Work today - God, give me strength not to eat all the biscuits. Weight loss so far on GL is pretty good but then so am I. Will email the nutritionist tomorrow and give him my story so far.

12.12

Not exactly a massive shift of weight but then I have been suffering from the worst period imaginable and have been glued to the sofa for three days. Also trying to get my head round GL diet. What exactly am I supposed to eat other than vile beans? Perhaps not that lovely ice cream and little Whispa bits I had yesterday. I will go for a swim and think about it. I think it's the usual: meat, fish, veg good. anything lovely bad.

12.13

All this healthy eating is getting me down a bit. I haven't lost any weight. That's mainly because I haven't taken any exercise but then I have the period from hell so don't really feel like charging up and down a swimming pool preferring to stay in and change my tampon every ten minutes. Last night I had to use a fluffy flannel shoved down my pants, no ordinary sanitary towel or even inco pad would have got me through the night. I am belt and braces again tonight but just tampon and industrial pad. I am really having a rough ride this month. Anyway I am trying to get my head round this GI, GL stuff. Still don't know what happens if you accidentally eat a Boost, maybe explode. I would try it and see but Ben ate my Boost so I had to use a Fab instead. Nothing happened and I don't feel terrifically tired or massively full or bursting with energy.

A bit down

Am I Britain's oldest menstruating woman? I don't feel that brill today. Send chocolate.

12.12

First goal: lose 10 per cent of weight. 18 pounds. Ok. On Monday I weighed 13.2 so a drop to 12.12 in two days is rather good. However, I do have the mother of all headaches. This might be from caffeine withdrawal as I have vowed to avoid diet coke for a while/ ever.

13 stone

Whilst this is a ghastly amount to weigh, at least it is no more than in May when I last paid any attention. I am now on the GL diet. What's that? Absolutely no idea but I think a bit Atkins with loads a veg. So basically low carbs and lots of low GI foods. OK I haven't a clue what I am not supposed to eat but I assume it's safe to think along the lines of meat, fish, veg good - doughnuts, alcohol and sausage sarnies bad. Shame cos I could really go sausage sarni right now.

13 stone

Working so damned hard surprised I weigh so much but then a holiday in France didn't exactly help. I really must pay a bit more attention to what goes in my gob.

12.9

Nothing like a job to stop you eating all the time. I have also been very swimmy and very careful abou t what goes inmy cake hole I.e. less cakes.

12.11

Made amazing biscuits, enormously fattening. Had a terrible Sunday where I was hungry all day despite eating and eating. Weighed 13.1 on Monday.
Big swim Tues. Start work today. Need to do digging.
Weight has been up but is now coming down. Skipping the odd dinner seems to work quite well.
If I keep up the exercise and diet I should make it down to below 12.7 by Biarritz. I just need my clothes to fit.

12.13

Screaming headache. Ow.

13.1

This seems a huge weight gain but given the amount I have been eating I think it 's modest. Oh chocolate, loverly chocolate.

12.12

Oh God, chocolate. We are drowning in it. I want to eat a hot cross buns for light relief! Did big swim yesterday and am getting much better at front crawl. Now have monster period though the pains might be from overeating.

New mantra .... Three meals a day and nothing between. Nice idea. Longer meals?

12.13

Have upped the exercise considerably with a big swim on Monday and a giant walk around London yesterday. I did a food track yesterday and I am still eating at least a third more than I should. This is an improvement on twice what I should. I watched a great fat programme last night where a chap ate his meal then went to get a snack that was larger than his meal. He did this three times a day. He had breakfast then got macburgers to eat in his car on the way to work. He even went to dinner with his parents then on the way home had to get a Chinese. I watched this in bed whilst eating ice cream. Lovely. I too could weigh 24 stone.

12.12

I feel huge as though I am bursting out of my skin. It's a horrible feeling. I can feel my skin ripping as enormous stretch marks appear down my hips and thighs and the fat around my knees is swollen. I am so bloody fat and I don't seem to be able to stop overeating. I also have a cold.

Not a good day. Actually, this could be a brilliant day as I could do better.

12.12

Oh no. I am addicted to the following things:

Chocolate, particularly Cadbury's boosts
Chocolate Hob Nobs
Greggs the Bakers
Tara on toast
Fresh bread and butter
MacDonalds rubber eggs on muffins
More chocolate.

I am a bit surprised I don't weigh more given my recent binges.

12.11

All because I went out to lunch on Tuesday and ate an enormous plate of pasta and cheese with garlic bread, focaccia, olives and lots of wine. It was delicious. I am still full thinking about it. I have also been attacking chocolate of late. This is diabolical. I will have to think of something to keep me on track or I will explode.

My trip Biarritz is about 6 weeks away. Right, six weeks of good dieting should do the trick. I am aiming for a stone lighter. I am going to have to exercise more than an occasional little swim. Time to dust off the exercise DVDs. Groan.

12.10

Went out for pizza and Mr Smith bought donuts for tea. I gave dinner a miss but still feel very fat.

12.9

Dropping.

12.10

Ghastly headache but weight is going down. Is it just water loss? Probably.

12.11

Does this mean acai berry works? I am certainly pooing more efficiently. Well, I will keep taking a massive six every day and see if I turn purple. I think they curb the appetite a bit. I am certainly not hungry.

12.12

Desperately need to exercise. Lunchtime swim.

Counting down to trip to Biarritz. It is about 7 weeks away. Ok let 's go for 2pounds a week. That's a stone by 7 weeks.

12.13

I feel monstrously fat and very heavy today. I am drinking vile green tea and taking acai berry capsules. I guess this is a sort of detox. Thought I'd better give body something to actually eliminate so lots of wine seemed a good idea. This morning it was cooked breakfast. Let's see how you get on with that lot, acai berries.

12.12

I have been quite good lately. Obviously not good enough. Dieting means starving otherwise it simply doesn't work. I'm hungry. I'm also depressed but I think it's just post euphoria as I return to earth with a bump. Thank goodness I have work to fall back on. Dentist today.

12.12

Doing ok and exercising lots but maybe not lots enough as I am obviously still doing more in than out. Did hit the booze yesterday as we had champagne with the client then I had lots of wine at home with dinner. I also had an amazing chocolate cake with the Lovely Thin Claudia.

Oh I ended up eating pancakes because the Best Boy suddenly decided he wanted pancakes for pudding as he missed pancake day. Gosh, the things we do for love.

12.12

I have stuck to weight watchers more or less for a couple of days now and expect to be three stone lighter. I am two pounds lighter. I really need to take some exercise but I just can't be arsed.

13 stone still

Oh this Weightwatchers points calculation is rather tricky. I eat things then can't remember what or how much. I must weigh stuff. I tried to weigh my meat from the roast last night but Mr Smith became very unhelpful and piled masses and masses on my plate. I think I got it more or less right in the end. Honestly, if he's not going to be supportive I am never going to get anywhere.

Well, Monday starts a new week. Off we go.

13 stone

This is so horrible. I am so fat! I am not drinking alcohol which must be a good thing but I am eating far too much bread, cheese and chocolate.

I am struggling to get the hang of weightwatchers online. Mighty tricky. I will fathom it soon. Here's the really tricky bit - daily points allowance is 26 and extra points allowance is 49 so really daily points allowance is 33 but they don't do it like that.
I dare say I will twig before I hit 14 stone.

12.13

After two weeks of concerted effort I have to admit this is going nowhere but up so maybe, just maybe, it is time to call in the professionals.

One thing I know I do is eat every meal as though there is never going to be another one. I have to address the volume of food I eat. I just am out of control. However, I do think that if you take a look at my weekly food consumption it is pretty low. Often I don't eat anything at all and the result is fat piling. Right, time to make some changes. I will drag my big fat arse to weight watchers and weep.

12.10

Fat telly with chocolate - yes! Biggest loser with Montezuma's buttons. Ooooh look they're really fat and really lazy.

This morning I walked the dog, walked to the pool, swam 20, walked back, walked to outpatients, walked home then back to o.p. then home again. I am not walking the dog this pm.

12.12 or One hundred and eighty

Oh my God, I weigh 180lbs. Actually, this is quite a good starting point as it's a good round figure - pun intended. It can go down pound by pound with me happily noting them down.

I want to deliver the painting but not til I am thinner. Notably so.

12.12

Back from Caribbean holiday and post Christmas. Well, last week I was a staggering 13 something so it's looking downwardly trending. I was sick last night from eating salmon and drinking wine. Was the salmon bad? Maybe I have germ. Whatever it is I feel horribly unwell. I have been off booze since last Saturday ... How many days is that? 5. I had two glasses of white last night and was so sick I am getting back on that wagon.