184

Hugely hippopotomine but in a Biggest Loser kind of way I feel it is quite good to start the diet weighing in higher than the highest darts score.  All I can do is go down and feel good.  Losing weight is a divine feeling and I am ready to embrace it.  The only slightly dull thing is not being able to eat and drink delicious things all day long.

I am worried my bad habits are SO ingrained they might be unchangeable.  They will be temporarily but I have to make this sustainable.  2018 is the year I am going to lose weight.  Perhaps I could just get on with it.

183

But it was amazing!

180

2 lbs down at SW.  phew
A bit too celebratory - result 1 lb gain.

One sweet thing only per day.  I had two helpings of sticky toffee pudding with cream.  It was gorgeous.  I also had two homemade biscuits and then ice cream.

Today will be better.  

180

821 in his lingo.  

180

0ne hundred and eighty.  Stab me with darts until I’m thin.

181

OK, not the entire firing squad but you may still want to keep the gun handy.  

184

Shoot me.

180

Out of control

181

Many biscuits, no exercise.  Well,actually quite a lot of exercise but too many meals out and far too much bread and sweet stuff.

Sugar - trying to get off it.  Unsuccessfully.

Less cals needed.  

177

Was doing ok on 3 days of military diet but got smashed last night.  Feel ok this morning.
Weight is actually going down.

174

Given the amount of crap I have been eating and the zero amount of exercise I cannot believe my weight has stayed at 174.  I am not going to fat club today but I am going to really watch it over the weekend.  I really want to shift 4 lbs in the next 7 days.  Off to the gym to get the ball rolling.  

174

Reached half stone target and was proclaimed Slimmer of the Week with a little shiny sticker and basket of fruit.  Woohoo.  Pets win prizes.  And now to do it again.

Too much booze and too much Indian takeaway last night ... however, massive poo so feel gloriously light.

I really would like to get down to below 170 which in old money is (140 plus 28 plus 2 equals)
12 stone 2lbs.  Then only 2 to below 12 stone.

I remember feeling huge at 11 stone 3.  I mean like suicidally fat.  Actually 10 and a half was enough to send me to a health farm for a week.  Oh those were the days.  

173

Gawd this is hard work.
SW today and I hope it registers more than one measly pound.  

176

I know that is what I always weigh but it is a vast improvement on lasts week's 181 which I couldn't bear to own up to.  I now have to see the back of 170.  Oh to be back to 160 something, but I am so impatient.  It won't do it in a week.  It takes time.

177

I have just eaten an entire tea table - gorgeous.  My friend had a charity garden party - lovely weather, lovely afternoon all round except a bit of a dust up/shout down with the most negative charity fundraiser I have ever met.  That just made me want to eat more.

Oh well, careful for the rest of the week.

177

This is an improvement on 182 which I was last week.  I really was a bit too cakey.  Now I am back on the careful eating avoiding sugar though I got a massively awful headache for three days until I drank cider and ate a couple of home made biscuits.  They were a bit amazed at SW by my amazing 5.5lb loss but my headache was so bad I wasn't really paying much attention.  Anyway, that was really on 4 days of being really good.  I now don't feel like eating much so may lose more.  

176

So bored of the 175/6 mark I am going to do a drastic 3 days of military diet starting tomorrow.  

178

Big black cloud. Wish it would fuck off. 

177

Skipped dinner, walked dog.

180

oh dear.  How did I do that?   I went out for every meal for the past week and ate puddings and cakes and took no exercise.  It was quite easy!

175

I was 179 the other day and now I am almost 174.  So it can be done.  Mind you we are eating horrible food - healthy pulses and bitter dreary salads.  Where are the doughnuts?

Tonight we are having lemon syrup sponge.  Mother in law needs fattening up.

The restaurant in the High Street is opening for breakfast this morning.  I am SO tempted!  But it is weigh -in tomorrow so I don't think I dare.

175

OK.  Here is the master plan.  Ready?

30 lbs in 30 weeks.  Well, we will start with 20 lbs in 20 weeks then take it from there.
So that should be 155 by mid September.  That is only 1lb a week but doesnt allow for any bad weeks or sts weeks.  So I have to be spot on for the next 20 x 7 = 140 days then even more vigilant for the next 70 days then not mess up over Christmas.  I am sure I can do it.  No I'm not but I will try.

176

One seven six you are boring.  I want a new number, preferably lower.

What I think I eat and what I really eat.  Mmmmm.  I logged everything on my SW food diary then ate dinner.  I wrote chicken No Skin, broccoli, cauli.  I ate chicken with skin, bacon, mountains of stuffing swamped in gravy.  The only good bit was the veg.

GI books arrived.  No red food.  Only green food.  Ok.  I think.

175

Still colossal but a whole heap better than 179 which I was last weekend.  177 on Friday.  Or something.  I think it was 12 stone 7 lbs.

Fat tv is so bad for me because I see these people at 17 stone and I think I'm not nearly as fat as that, then I see Biggest Loser and there's no comparison then, my total fav, my 600 lb life.  Some of them are bedridden with oozing sores where their folds of flab get all chaffed.

176

It's always 176 except when it's more.

I attempted a vegan diet but after three days and a zillion cheats, such as cheese to make the wretched stewed vegetables palatable, I threw in the scratchy towel and snuggled into the warmth that only a decent bit of roast meat can bring.

Now I am sugar free, until I go to the new ice cream parlour this afternoon.

GI next week.  We more or less do that anyway but haven't counted the numbers.

174

New clothes arrive, new clothes don't fit.  Oh dear.
New app - you can see what you are going to look like at goal.  

174

I shouldn't be allowed out on my own!  There are cake shops everywhere.

173

I feel very very fat.

174

Struggle struggle.

175

I am starving!

Actually 1.5 lbs down at SW.  Total 5.5 lbs.

Wed: lots of walking
Thurs: giant dog walk
Friday: swim

177

0h balls!

173

This is almost fun.  Down down down go the scales.  Of course the moment it stops becomes misery.  

174

Ate too much.  A lot of picking due to no smoking,  I cannot replace one bad habit with another.  First day I haven't lost weight.  Time to address this.  Today needs some planning.  

174

Oooh getting lighter despite eating too much.

No booze!

175

It seems I am losing weight regardless of what I eat.  No booze me thinks.  Also following SW guidelines ..... with biscuits.

No smoking going well, so far.

Swim and gym yesterday.

Weight 12.11 Goal 11.7

SW Rejoin

So pleasantly surprised at SW to weigh in under 13 stone after a holiday.  The pre hol diet was well worth it.  Only three meals a day and no snacks was what clinched it.

Since I have been back it has been very bready and biscuity.  I do still have two croissants that I might devour for breakfast before I really start.  There again if I don't want to pile on weight I had better watch those syns.  It really has to be bread free.  Bread makes me sleepy.  

178

That doesn't seem too awful considering the loveliness of my holiday.

Rejoined SW today although I vowed I never would.  I do feel fat.    SW weight: 12.11

172

No fags, no booze, no sugar, no cake, no biscuits except the 8 shortbread fingers I had yesterday, no puds, no bread, no rice, no pasta, no potatoes, no flour.  Oh good grief this is torture.

I am still really fat.

Swim and gym yesterday.  

172

I gave up fags.

I have to now declare myself a non smoker.  I would actually describe myself as someone with a craving for a cigarette like she has never had before.

And I am fucking starving.

This is fun.  

172-173

Weightloss is suddenly grinding to a halt.  Too many snacks and not enough starvation.  Mr Smith on the other hand is doing ridiculously well.

I ate a cupcake last night.  I know I won't die but it has undone my brilliant record.

I am so fed up with being so goddamned hungry.

173

Yesterday, although I was once again cold and starving for most of the day, was a bit picky.  I had little snacks here and there and I put on a pound.  Today I will be more careful.

Last year

Last year I was horrified I was so fat and this year I aspire to be that thin.

New vow .... I will get below 12 stone and never allow myself to go over again.  

172

Looking good, aiming into some shorts that don't go much past my knees.

Can I make it to 170 by Monday?  Of course I can.  

173

This weightloss is unbelievable.  I am almost enjoying it.  I do have a nasty headache this morning but apart from that I am feeling well.  I went to the gym and swam yesterday.  We had fish pie with a faux cauliflower mash.  It was rather good.

In the words of James Brown ....
I feel good.

174

There was a time when I would have jumped off Beachy Head at 174 lbs but today I am ecstatic.  6lbs down in one week is bloody marvellous.  Only 34 more to go.

In the gloom

Oh no, the bathroom light has gone and I can't see the scales.  Just as well as I hit the cheese and biscuits last night and the shortbread.  I was still hungry after dinner.

This hunger is beyond hunger.  It is ridiculous; as though someone is driving a jackhammer into my stomach.

Without the joy of food it is as though I am just existing, just floundering in a sea of stupidity.  I am achieving zilch and all I can think about is the physical pain this kind of gnawing hunger brings.  Babies cry when they are hungry.  I want to wail.  Perhaps I should just think of it as my diet working.  It has a lot of work to do.

And I am feeling depressed.  Oh groan.  Happy Monday.

175

Bit of a struggle.  I was SO ridiculously hungry yesterday - an 11 on the 1-10 scale.  I ate some panettone for tea that I found in the bread bin.  Gawd,that was better.  This stupid blood sugar diet expected me to have baked beans for breakfast then nothing whatever all day til dinner.  I am sorry but half a can of stupid beans does not fill me up.  I was loony tunes hungry.

Steak for dins-amazing.  

175

Well that's better.  I gymed and swam, walked back from the garage and ate horrid diet food in tiny portions.   My goal is 10lbs by 1st Feb and I have done 5 already.  Wheehee.  This is brill.  

179

Sticking 100% to BSD.  No weight loss - well very little!
Mr Smith on the other hand is doing supremely well.  Grrr.  He weighs in kilos so I thought I would hop on his scales and I was even more on there 81.6.  Not good.  He has got all proprietorial about his scales saying I might upset them if I use them.  Oh piss off.  Honestly as though starving to death isn't bad enough.

Food: a truly horrible breakfast drink
An insignificant salad lunch
A nice aubergine and lamb thing.

I will lose weight.  I can only do my best.

2017

That's the year not my weight by the way. Two thousand and seventeen pounds. (144 stone) Well it feels like it.

Mr Smith and I are going to attempt 8 weeks of BSD - blood sugar diet - in order to get his diabetes under control and prevent me from getting it.  We don't have a spare 8 weeks so we will wait til we get back from our holiday, in March.  I might try a dry run through Jan. I am not drinking so not eating can join my purge.