12.11

I feel as though I have eaten two enormous bags of lead and drunk two gallons of water. I am so hefty today. Bloated.

12.11

The ghastly reality is 1,000 calories is a fly's armpit of a daily intake. But if I want to lose weight that's all I can l have. Maybe a bit more but only 1,200 with an absolute top of 1,400 if I climb K2 and swim the Nile for exercise. Sad.

12.12

Perfect day yesterday but I feel I ate only enough to keep a fly alive, not even a very fat fly. Oh well, I will be thinner soon.

12.13

Dreadful weekend. Actually it could have been worse but I put on weight. I did swim but I also made and ate coffee walnut cake, on the surmise that I hate coffee but I still ate it, too much of it. Need to drink more water.

12.12

Pooing most efficiently, or bigly and oft. However, not losing weight as firstly, taking no exercise and secondly, eating too much. The right things are going in but a bit too heavy in quantity.

12.11

Damned nutritionist, Jack, seems to be in love with me. All the signs are there - far too keen. I wouldn't mind but he looks like a psychopath, a Jewish psychopath. Oh well, I should be flattered but actually I am annoyed because he's a very useful tool as a food/diet advisory service but I just want to steer clear. He is a bit bossy which I find annoying, going on and on about how to get a book refund when I don't want to get a book refund.

12.10

Found to my horror I had been charged £85 by some diet company on my credit card. When I looked into it I found it was something brilliant I had signed up for last year and actually I will not cancel it but use it. Weightloss Resources. If you manage the tedious task of listing everything you eat it does a marvellous pie chart showing you how much carb/protein/fat you are eating but as I have no idea how it should look I am not much the wiser. Anyway, I am losing weight and that is a good thing.

12.12

Searching frantically around the kitchen trying to find something low GL for snacks. Work today - God, give me strength not to eat all the biscuits. Weight loss so far on GL is pretty good but then so am I. Will email the nutritionist tomorrow and give him my story so far.

12.12

Not exactly a massive shift of weight but then I have been suffering from the worst period imaginable and have been glued to the sofa for three days. Also trying to get my head round GL diet. What exactly am I supposed to eat other than vile beans? Perhaps not that lovely ice cream and little Whispa bits I had yesterday. I will go for a swim and think about it. I think it's the usual: meat, fish, veg good. anything lovely bad.

12.13

All this healthy eating is getting me down a bit. I haven't lost any weight. That's mainly because I haven't taken any exercise but then I have the period from hell so don't really feel like charging up and down a swimming pool preferring to stay in and change my tampon every ten minutes. Last night I had to use a fluffy flannel shoved down my pants, no ordinary sanitary towel or even inco pad would have got me through the night. I am belt and braces again tonight but just tampon and industrial pad. I am really having a rough ride this month. Anyway I am trying to get my head round this GI, GL stuff. Still don't know what happens if you accidentally eat a Boost, maybe explode. I would try it and see but Ben ate my Boost so I had to use a Fab instead. Nothing happened and I don't feel terrifically tired or massively full or bursting with energy.

A bit down

Am I Britain's oldest menstruating woman? I don't feel that brill today. Send chocolate.

12.12

First goal: lose 10 per cent of weight. 18 pounds. Ok. On Monday I weighed 13.2 so a drop to 12.12 in two days is rather good. However, I do have the mother of all headaches. This might be from caffeine withdrawal as I have vowed to avoid diet coke for a while/ ever.

13 stone

Whilst this is a ghastly amount to weigh, at least it is no more than in May when I last paid any attention. I am now on the GL diet. What's that? Absolutely no idea but I think a bit Atkins with loads a veg. So basically low carbs and lots of low GI foods. OK I haven't a clue what I am not supposed to eat but I assume it's safe to think along the lines of meat, fish, veg good - doughnuts, alcohol and sausage sarnies bad. Shame cos I could really go sausage sarni right now.