172

No fags, no booze, no sugar, no cake, no biscuits except the 8 shortbread fingers I had yesterday, no puds, no bread, no rice, no pasta, no potatoes, no flour.  Oh good grief this is torture.

I am still really fat.

Swim and gym yesterday.  

172

I gave up fags.

I have to now declare myself a non smoker.  I would actually describe myself as someone with a craving for a cigarette like she has never had before.

And I am fucking starving.

This is fun.  

172-173

Weightloss is suddenly grinding to a halt.  Too many snacks and not enough starvation.  Mr Smith on the other hand is doing ridiculously well.

I ate a cupcake last night.  I know I won't die but it has undone my brilliant record.

I am so fed up with being so goddamned hungry.

173

Yesterday, although I was once again cold and starving for most of the day, was a bit picky.  I had little snacks here and there and I put on a pound.  Today I will be more careful.

Last year

Last year I was horrified I was so fat and this year I aspire to be that thin.

New vow .... I will get below 12 stone and never allow myself to go over again.  

172

Looking good, aiming into some shorts that don't go much past my knees.

Can I make it to 170 by Monday?  Of course I can.  

173

This weightloss is unbelievable.  I am almost enjoying it.  I do have a nasty headache this morning but apart from that I am feeling well.  I went to the gym and swam yesterday.  We had fish pie with a faux cauliflower mash.  It was rather good.

In the words of James Brown ....
I feel good.

174

There was a time when I would have jumped off Beachy Head at 174 lbs but today I am ecstatic.  6lbs down in one week is bloody marvellous.  Only 34 more to go.

In the gloom

Oh no, the bathroom light has gone and I can't see the scales.  Just as well as I hit the cheese and biscuits last night and the shortbread.  I was still hungry after dinner.

This hunger is beyond hunger.  It is ridiculous; as though someone is driving a jackhammer into my stomach.

Without the joy of food it is as though I am just existing, just floundering in a sea of stupidity.  I am achieving zilch and all I can think about is the physical pain this kind of gnawing hunger brings.  Babies cry when they are hungry.  I want to wail.  Perhaps I should just think of it as my diet working.  It has a lot of work to do.

And I am feeling depressed.  Oh groan.  Happy Monday.

175

Bit of a struggle.  I was SO ridiculously hungry yesterday - an 11 on the 1-10 scale.  I ate some panettone for tea that I found in the bread bin.  Gawd,that was better.  This stupid blood sugar diet expected me to have baked beans for breakfast then nothing whatever all day til dinner.  I am sorry but half a can of stupid beans does not fill me up.  I was loony tunes hungry.

Steak for dins-amazing.  

175

Well that's better.  I gymed and swam, walked back from the garage and ate horrid diet food in tiny portions.   My goal is 10lbs by 1st Feb and I have done 5 already.  Wheehee.  This is brill.  

179

Sticking 100% to BSD.  No weight loss - well very little!
Mr Smith on the other hand is doing supremely well.  Grrr.  He weighs in kilos so I thought I would hop on his scales and I was even more on there 81.6.  Not good.  He has got all proprietorial about his scales saying I might upset them if I use them.  Oh piss off.  Honestly as though starving to death isn't bad enough.

Food: a truly horrible breakfast drink
An insignificant salad lunch
A nice aubergine and lamb thing.

I will lose weight.  I can only do my best.

2017

That's the year not my weight by the way. Two thousand and seventeen pounds. (144 stone) Well it feels like it.

Mr Smith and I are going to attempt 8 weeks of BSD - blood sugar diet - in order to get his diabetes under control and prevent me from getting it.  We don't have a spare 8 weeks so we will wait til we get back from our holiday, in March.  I might try a dry run through Jan. I am not drinking so not eating can join my purge.