171

Thirteen pounds.  Most annoying; so nearly a stone just one more teeny little pound.

Have now worked out the terrible constipation situation.  I need to eat more and take more exercise.  If I eat so little I will not perform.  I have to work harder at exercising to burn off bigger meals.  Then everything works nicely and smoothly.

T thought I was much thinner.  My waist is smaller but my bum is vast.  So is my tum.  I will have to go to dreaded exercise classes I fear.  Last Monday I went to very good aqua aerobics which was quite gruelling but I did enjoy it.  I did day one of C25k.  I nearly died.  Well I didn't but it was damned hard work.

170/1 12.3

Getting there, still bunged up.  Did day 1 of C25k - rather hard work.  Need to put it on phone.  I am now hovering between 170 and 171.  I started at over 180 so that is jolly good.

172

No, I don't have diabetes but I am a bit prediabetes so I need to lose weight.  Good.  Singing from same psalter.  

172. 12.4

I have diabetes - I think.  I have almost every sign.  Tiredness, fatness, weeing lots, pooing less if at all, responding appallingly to sugar and aching like an old old person.

I will have to take myself to the doctor who will tell me to lose weight and take more exercise.  Funny that because that is exactly what I have been doing.  

173

Wrong way.  I have to be 170 by next Friday,  I can do it, constipation permitting.

I had quite a lot to eat yesterday.  I needed a proper meal as I was trying to survive on fly food.  I was trying to starve the poo out which didn't really work.

I missed Slimming World.  Oh well there will be a fabbo weight loss next week.

172

Can't go to Slimming World because I have to wait in for the washing machine repair man.  Boring.

174

It didn't work.  I am totally starving despite cooked breakfast and a pear.  Not any sign of a poo.
My cement mixer arrived.  Afternoon's work will be putting it together.

173

I ate raw cabbage.  It was rather nice actually.  It's that thing of crunchiness and greenness.  Anyway, I did manage a poo, albeit rather a small one.  Better than nowt.  I am trying to do a colon cleanse but then eat things like a Crunchie washed down with a diet coke.  I am supposed to be having fruit and raw vegetables.  Now I have a tummy ache.

I might try starvation today because my friend T says that it is the best way to cure constipation.  You just drinks lots of water and eat nothing til you get the shit out of you.

176

Oh dear.  We went out for Sunday lunch and I had the bonkers idea that as it was Sunday I could drink so I did.  I was blotto.  I felt very ill as a result.

I also decided that my innards need a decent workout as things have been so sluggish of late so I ate and ate and ate.  There, that should show them who's boss.  But what happens now?  It could either be a massive poo that hurts or no poo that hurts higher up or just a tiny poo and a pain or the runs.  I have managed a big fat 3lb weight gain.

I think I need to do three things today

1.  Eat almost nothing.
2.  Jump up and down a lot.
3.  Find a colon cleanse.

Right, time for an early morning walk to the sea to collect my car.

174

Still haven't been. It has been a week now and I feel quite horrid.  It's as though my bottom muscles have forgotten how to do it.  I need poo potions.

I am going to buy myself a big selection of fruit and veg and work my way through it, and bottles of water.  I have to do this.  More fibre.  OK.

I went to meet a walk but got the wrong venue.  I went to Hamstreet Station which is where they are next week.  So I came home, got Alexander to build me a raised bed, filled it with earth and made 7 concrete paving slabs to celebrate.  God, turning that cement was hard work.  I need a cement mixer.

It was all good exercise and we had takeaway pizza for dinner - lovely.  800 cals but I reckon I burnt off at least 500 with the garden work.

Now to get some seed compost and plant carrots.


Aha ... I pooed.  Not triumphant and much too hard, but I did it.

174

Gosh, glad it isn't weigh in today.

Went up to London for the day.  Chronically constipated which has one advantage in that I don't ever need to go when I am out and about.  I actually felt really ill last night and couldn't eat dinner so quite how I have put on weight I have no idea.  It must be all that poo in me weighing a ton.

I found a constipation ap on line that is a food diary.  Aha, this might help.  T says the best way is to eat nothing but drink lots; that helps expel the poo.  But I am starving!

Out walking this morning.  I hope I get the urge in the next hour or I don't think I can go for a walk with lots of people.  I will either be in pain or bursting.

Right, off to find a good wholesome breakfast - nasty cereals various.  

173

I did it.  Phew.  Now to SW where we have to add 2lbs for clothes.  

174

Only just not 173.  Might be tomorrow but I am going out to lunch with Naomi Pants today.  We are shopping.  Oooh lovely lovely shopping and lunch.

I had botox yesterday.  I am told if I keep it up for a year my lines will completely disappear over time. Oh wow.  Lovely, lovely doctor.  She is stunningly beautiful and full of botox.... But you can't tell.  She says if you cannot frown you become less angry.  Oh good because I am not too chuffed by idiot son washing tools (in his pockets) in the washing machine and breaking it.

I just have the big white line down the middle if my head to deal with and a lot more weight to lose and I might be back to my real age rather that fat old bat of 55 - oh hang on, I am 55.

174. 12.6

I was so so bad yesterday.  I ate cream tea and chocolate but somehow I came out at just the right number of cals.  Maybe a calorie is a calorie regardless from whence it is gleaned.  I do think sweet ones make fat.

Yesterday I ate cereal for brekker
Soup for lunch of the fartitits variety - cauliflower cheese soup.  I positively tooted up the high street.
I forgot to add bicarbonate to counteract the dreadful side effects.
Cream tea for tea.
Lime and sober in pub
Salad for dins
Twirl for extra loveliness.

I ended up with million syns over.  Will do it better today.

Friday is SW meeting and I would love to shift as much as possible by then.  So could I do another pound?  I am going out for lunch on Thurs.  tricky...  Salad.

175

Walked 15 miles yesterday,  ate lunch at tea shop, egg mayo sarnie and Bakewell tart.
Then went out for v fattening dinner at new Italian.
Cals allowed 3,000. Cals eaten probably 3,000.

175. 12.7

Hooray.  Losing weight and have dealt with huge constipation problem ... It was huge.

I ate an enormous dinner last night but the earth moved so there we are.  Sometimes a big load is required to shift a big load.  My bot hurts.

Doing less.  Honestly, all those boards and endless logging of every mouthful was just getting silly.
So, I have:
Finished Judith Beck, though now devotee so will never really finish as such.
Told WLR to go poke it for a week.
Not logging as such but being super careful.
Following Slimming World and counting my syns with care.

Today the boys are going to stay at their house.  I am free.... til they come home.

I am going to walk to Hythe, shooting permitting.  Well, I will walk to Dymchurch then see if I can go further.

Spring is here.  It is so sunny.  My greenhouse is all painted and ship shape.

I am going to finish projects various and start painting this week.

176

Too much.  Not only do I weigh too much but I am doing too much in the whole weight losing thing. I am losing weight Hooray but I seem to have joined everything there is to join and am writing on every Forum and logging in 3 or 4 different places and it is just too much.

I need a plan.

Yes, I will continue with Judith Beck because that is a good mindset.
Yes, I will continue with Slimming World because, although it is misguided in parts, I like the people and I think it is encouraging, especially getting weighed in each week.
No, I will not do WLR and all that logging.  I will give it a miss for a week.  I will just follow the SW program and count my syns and see how that goes rather than all those calories.
No, I will not waste hours and hours on the stupid WLR forum.
Yes, I will plan my food ahead.
Yes, I will lose weight.
No, I will not weigh myself every day.  It is obsessive.

T and I are writing a book.  You Cannot Diet With a Hangover ... We Tried.
It's brill.  She can do all the hard work and I can trollop about on the sidelines.

SEED - Some Exercise Every Day.

176

A vile vile hangover of the sort you want to die to make go away.  No sickness but an awful three day humdinger of a headache.  Execution please,now.  It is getting better but still lurking in the nether recesses of my head.  No more please.

I sat on the sofa all day staying within calories. It was hard work.  I was practising that Victorian belief that exercise increases appetite and therefore should be avoided by the corpulent; total bed rest with a light diet being the preferred treatment for obesity.  It seems to work.

I am now NO Alcohol for Lent.  Officially on several sites.  I am even running the effing thread on the forum but they seem to want it every day.  Oh well, maybe that's my new Lenten vigil, running the Lenten vigil.

178

Ate too much and drank too much and moved too little so now I'm fat. Magically, the pound has floated away now but not til after JB weigh in which has blemished my graph with a line going the wrong way.  Oh boring.  I will sort it out by Friday but I really want a snooze this afternoon.  Swoop for lunch.

Skipping rope arrived.  And, guess what ... I can skip.  I am really good at it.  I will skip tomorrow when my horrible hangover has dispersed.  Then I will learn to hula.

177

An interesting weekend when I ate too much and went up to 179.  Thank God I am back down again. I was starving all day yesterday and took virtually no exercise but managed to ditch those surplus 2lbs.  Period is with us. Groan.

28th March is the fatties meeting at the Savoy except hardly any of them are fat and the fat ones won't come.  My God, I feel embarrassed enough and I am a mere sylph compared to some.  Mostly they are paranoid rakes with a dreaded fear of ever being an ounce over anorexic.  So I bet everyone makes a HUGE effort for that.