1714

12.3
Appetite back ish.  I had a terrible biscuity session yesterday - those lovely big posh biscuits from Sainsbums.  I now need to be very careful indeedy if I am to keep this weight down.

1720

12 stone 2lbs.  I have lost 10lbs in a week.  This is terrifying.  I cannot even feel exhilarated.  I feel nervous. I need to gain weight just to make me feel normal.  I feel sick.  I feel weird.  I cannot eat.

Today is the first time I have eaten since Monday.  I have been barred from the pub but I don't really care.  I did care.  I cared a lot.  But today I think Glen the Good is a drunk idiot, his partner isn't much better and their pub is a dive.  Thank god I no longer need to go there.

I am so thin.  My face in concave.  Clothes I haven't worn for years fit.  This is odd.  I like it but it is happening a bit too fast.  I feel so strange.  Of course I am not thin at all.  I am 12 stone with flab.

Today I ate lovely red soup and bread and butter at the hotel where I swim - my club.
Then this evening I had chicken stew with a slice of bread and butter.  And lots of wine.  I laughed a lot with lovely Mr Smith and I feel SO much better.

With a bit more effort I could make it down to below 12stone.  Hey, that would be good.

1726

People revolt over gin and brandy tax.  Quite right too.

In holy shit at pub.  As per.  Keeping out of there for the forseeable.

Feel thinner.  Stomach reacting badly to nervousness.

Weird dream - my parents, my seaside flat and the Queen.  I had to drive D o E's car in the snow to deliver some curtains to Balmoral.  I realised I could park it anywhere as it didn't matter if it got a parking ticket.  If it was left for any length of time it sounded an alarm and security people appeared. I actually needed them because I couldn't drive this damned car or deliver the stupid curtains.  Eventually some sensible bloke appeared to help me out but he didn't really.  Met Lady Jane and Lady Anne, the very nice practical ladies in waiting.  Horsey sort.

Didn't go to SW.  Will try Friday.  If I keep up this weight loss I will be a sugarplum by then.

1760

Went to gym and swimming yesterday.  Mother in law came ate too much and drank too much champagne.  Headache. Groan.

Yes, well, haven't been around for a few days.  Went to France where I ate a subliminal lunch.
Weight was vast last week.  Better this week.

Watched hilarious Spanish video on FB of girl trying to get into too small jeans.  Must see if I can find it on YouTube.

Aiming for a lighter weekend.

1750

A slightly wobbly earthquake in London.
Halifax, Nova Scotia, burnt to the ground. oh well, nobody went there much.

Terrible day of starving hunger.  I ate half a bagel and some tara, a spoonful of ice cream and a couple of glasses of wine.  Everything else was golden good.  Stuffed peppers for dins. Yummy.

Gym, swim and much attention to diet.

1732

Lost two and a half pounds at weigh in yesterday.  Good.
I have to do that again this week.
I probably need to eat a bit more.  It was roast chicken with loads a veg last night and a couple of g&ts in the pub.  All's happy.

1732
Building starts on Bank of England and Covent Garden Opera House opens.  

1754

Horace Walpole coins the word serendipity.

I don't understand what that means.  What is coin and what is serendipity?

Serendipity means a "fortunate happenstance" or "pleasant surprise". It was coined by Horace Walpole in 1754. In a letter he wrote to a friend Walpole explained an unexpected discovery he had made by reference to a Persian fairy tale, The Three Princes of Serendip. The princes, he told his correspondent, were “always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of”.

I was good - not perfect but I did everything right except cake. I only had a little bit.  Cakes are smaller these days.  One day I will make a cake and eat the entire thing.  I will.  It will be lovely.

Big roast last night.  Not too hungover, amazingly.

O

1752

Had a skinful.  Bloody hangover.  But look at the weight!

I know what the big problem is .... Running.  It is making me hold on to a lot of water.  Heavy legs.  I ought to do it for my heart etc.  I might give it a rest til Monday.

1752 - The Year the Gregorian Calendar was introduced, losing 11 days.  Rioters accuse government of stealing 11 days of their lives.

Dutch States-General forbids the export of Windmills.

Moscow has a nasty fire.

Liberty Bell arrives in Philadephia.  

1766

I did not overeat.  I don't understand why I am not losing weight.  No booze.  All the good stuff, no bad stuff.  Grrrr!

1768

Not only cheesed off that I have put on weight but also I have been this weight before and am back in the same year.  Grrrr!!!

1766

Stayed the same Grrrrrrr!  And I tried so hard.  So it's no bad stuff at all at all at all.  If I do have a teeny slip it will be my syns.

I gymed I swam I dog walked.

And now I have lept forward by 6 years to find the prime minister has been dismissed by the King and William Pitt the elder has replaced him.  The Jacobites are behaving badly - That Bonnie Prince Charlie thinks he is going to become Charles III of England .... we have that problem too. After a dreadful harvest the Bread and Butter riots took place.  These sound like my kind of riots. The first golf club opened at Blackheath. The invention of the golf widow.

1760

Of course we have that huge difference of:

Morning weight
Clothes
Scales calibration
Food & drink

This can be 5lbs difference between morning and evening weight.  Watch this space.  Weigh in this evening.  

1776

Oh no,it's going the wrong way.

1st volume of Gibbon's "Decline & Fall of Roman Empire" published
AmericanWar of Independence
Adam Smith publishes Wealth of Nations
First "cocktail" served in a New York bar.  When used to refer to any generic alcoholic mixed drink, cocktail may mean any beverage that contains two or more ingredients if at least one of them contains alcohol.

1768

Oops, ate and drank too much.

1768 - John Hancock, smuggler extraordinaire, doesn't pay duty on his cargo.
First encyclopaedia Britannia printed in Scotland. 

1762

Going down, feeling good.
Feels odd not going to SW today.  Monday is my new weigh in.  I don't like the Monday group; it's a bit spooky and very big.  However, Mondays are the new Fridays and I have to be good over the weekend.

I am doing so well.  But it is the sort of well that could easily be undone by a couple of good meals and a biscuit or two.

Gym and swimming today followed by shopping in lovely Hythe.  

1770

Enormous lunch after splendiferous poppies.

No dinner.  

12.8

Year: 1780

No syns day yesterday,  food was all free stuff.  Fruit, meat and veg.  Bread is out.  

Went for a C25k lollop.  Got a stop watch which is a great help.

New mantra: Need or Greed? 

New outlook

I bought new scales which are accurate and weigh to the tenth of a pound which then gives me my weight like a date such as 1812.  ie 181 lbs. I then look up that date and see what was going on in the world.  Napoleon was busy in Russia and there was an interesting overture to accompany it.

Today was 1794.  The Louvre opened its doors to the public for the first time and Robespierre got guillotined.  Strasbourg passed a law prohibiting circumcision and the wearing of beards.  Catherine the Great was busy being great in Russia - that thing about the horse was all rubbish.

I am changing SW to Monday.  I always mess up the weekends so today I am being golden.
Then I will be golden again tomorrow and on Monday I might not eat anything at all .... depending on how it is going.  No, I will eat on Monday just not pudding or bread or cheese or chocolate or booze or cake or biscuits.  I need a word or some intitials to describe all that. Maybe CAPS Cake and processed sugar.

12.9

No bread yesterday.  I did have cake.  I did spend most of the day in bed.  I took the dog and the boy to the sea.  The coughing boy was ill so we didn't walk much.

I ate better but still not brilliantly.  Far too much sugar.  I didn't have dinner last night.

I feel very odd today.  I am horribly dizzy.  Is this diabetes?  I have had a week of living off sugar.  I think a detox is required regardless of advice from people on line saying they are rubbish.  Actually I feel sick now.  Oh dear.

Year is 1268.  It was a leap year. 

12.11

Terrible cake problem.  Rainbow cake.  Can't stop eating it.
I am going to try and eat nothing today.  I will be hungry but I am so out of control I have to do this.

I have an online friend, Boring, who isn't at all boring.  He has a time machine which is fuelled by his weight loss.  He has taught me the formula to fuel one of my own but mine has gone wrong and has hurled me into the future.  I now have to get back somehow .... by losing weight.

I am much too fat.  I am also very very lazy.  I loll about all day.  I will be disciplined today.

My year: 1277, a new pope and Edward I has got to Worcester.  Trouble in Wales.

12 9

I feel like I have gone back in time.  Oh I have .... Clocks changed.  Back on GMT.

I have made an interesting discovery.  If I go running I can eat whatever I like and still lose weight.  I do have to actually run rather than just put on the kit and walk slowly.  Now I am quite looking forward to running again even though I am so utterly hopeless at it.

Here's a test - get off the sofa onto the floor and back up again every ad break.  It is torture.

I have got rid of the microwave now for the toaster and telly.  I eat too much toast and watch too much tv.  I heard about an old lady the other day whose tv had broken four years ago but she kept it anyway so people thought she had one.  I am not sure how much I would miss it - I could do other things.  Maybe I will not watch tv for a month.  I could always cheat and look at my iPad for emergency viewing such as Corrie and Downton.

Mr Smith might miss me for University Challenge but he would be delighted by no more fat progs or soaps.  Most tv is so dull.  

12.9

Vile awful dreadful headache day 4.
On cocodamol.  In bed.  Lovely weather.

Lost 3lbs at SW.  Was very nearly sick.  Went to doctor.

12.8

Happily going down.  Have started c25k.  Joined the gym.  Fat swimming.  All good.
Lazy day today.
Back to SW.  Holiday next week.  I will try not to go beserk.

12.9

If I ever remembered to wear my Fitbit I might have a chance of clocking up some steps.  Plodded around Rye yesterday which gave me a few.  God, I am a slug these days.  Have a period which makes me want to curl up and watch fat telly with cake.

Vowed to eat nothing sweet yesterday.  Nearly did it.  2 home made biscuits at tea time.  Otherwise fine.  No rubbish for once.

I feel so so fat.  

Getting it wrong

Went to Folkestone for the day and had an amazingly good lunch at RockSalt. Fantastic bread.  Had a good Kent Dairy ice cream.  Honey flavour, Delish.

Made a Swiss roll on Friday.  Ate it.  Ditto ciabatta x 2 but only ate one as it's not very good.

Amazing gooey runny Brie.

Found shortbread bics last night that Mr Smith bought.  Oh lovely.  Had three.

And guess what?  I haven't lost weight.

Good things made:  really lovely tomato soup, beef stroganoff, hairy bikers vegetable things.

I need cooked breakfast.

12.9

Blew it.  Got pissed Tues and ate the world and rested yesterday.  Oh flaming heck.  And I was going great guns.  Ow my head hurts.

Bad me.  Fat me.

12.8

Still eaking out the last tiny bit of power from the batteries in the scales.  They read Lo - crap at spelling - then they give a reluctant reading.  12.8.  I am aiming for 12.6 by Friday.

I found my lost Fitbit.  I got it a new battery from mouldy man in the high street.  He was mean to my dog.  I wanted to kick him.  He was also bossy to my battery, scathing about my Fitbit, and generally unpleasant.

Fitbit gave some gloriously big readout but when I took it back to its mother it went back to zero despite walking it nicely.  I was rather cheesed off.  Oh well today is another day and Fitbit can be fitted once more.  I am planning a trip to Hythe.  I might walk some of it, weather permitting.  I will delegate my dog walk.

12.9

Those batteries are on their very last squeak of power and I weigh 12.9.0 so tomorrow I am confident I will be 12.8 then let's just be ambitious and aim for 12.6 by Friday.  This will of course come out at 12.8 at SW with clothes which will give me a 2lb weight loss.

Not knowing my weight will be very very weird.  I hope it works.  

12.9

The batteries on my scales are on their last gasp.  I am not replacing them.  I rely on them stupidly.  So I will be on my own for a bit when they finally conk out.

Cake.  I made Victoria sandwich with cream and jam and I ate a huge slice, about 600 cakes.
Tiny lunch - little Greek salad.  Lovely dinner Hairy Bikers chicken tangle pie.  Gorgeous.

And now it will be weigh your food not yourself.

I am so lethargic these days.  I need to take some exercise.  All I want to do is eat and sleep.  Heavenly but unhealthy.  

12.9

12.9 naked weight and, although they could do with a good shock, I think Slimming Club members do not need to see me stark naked on the scales.  This made my weight same as last time.  I hate Stayed the Same weeks.  I really only started in earnest on Monday on Jo's 100 Golden Days challenge.  4 down, 96 to go.

What I learned at Slimming World today.  There are 21 meals between now and next week.  How easy is that?  Just work out what you are going to eat at every 21.  Most of them are so easy with things like cereal and yogurt - well that's 7 taken care of.  Only 14 that require any thought whatsoever and about 4 of those will be really easy - can or packet.  3 frozen.  7 real.

So meal 1 was brunch.  Full cooked breakfast.  About 760 cals.

12.8

Following "Today's Menu" on WLR. Ie. just writing down eating plan for the day then sticking to it.

Going really well so far.  Day 4 today of 100 day challenge.

I have changed the order of meals lately and have big breakfast, snack mid morning, lunch, snack at tea time and usually skip dinner.  This is working so well for me.  If I am hungry I will have dinner but usually my 5pm snack quells the hunger.  So effectively I am doing no carbs after 6 which is proven to be a very effective diet.

Osteopath/psychopath today.  

12.9

Day 2/100 went reasonably well.

Breakfast and lunch and tea were perfect.  Tried instant porridge, like cup noodle, by Alpen which had all the charm of .... pot noodle. Cardboardy and gloopy.  Not for me but I gave it a whirl.  Threw half of it in the bin.

Dinner was a hairy biker's recipe for fish pie.  Very nice.  Hard work.  Drank copious amounts of wine to help it down. Might award myself the book.

12.9

Shoulder injury vastly better but still not star jumps.

Took on a 100 day challenge to lose weight.  Just think if I lost a pound a day I would weigh 80lbs.  I don't think it works quite like that.  But I have to eat no more than 1200 cals a day which isnt enough to keep a small fairy flying.  I will have find big low cal food - where?  Low cals don't fill you up.

Porridge for brekker.  Jolly good.

12.11

Being completely immobile and eating crap, watching fat tv all day long does make me marvel at only 1lb weight gain.

Arm is a lot better today so I can be less static.

Watching all these extreme weight loss programmes makes me question whether I really want to lose weight.  I want to be thinner, of course, but I don't want the continuous nightmare grind of maintaining.  Having said that I seem to be maintaining as my weight hasn't moved much over the past three years and I eat crap all the time.

Slimming Club lady's husband has dropped down dead of a heart attack.  Poor her.  I bet he was overweight.

I would like to lose loads of weight and look really lovely and feel marvellous and all that stuff.  Does my husband deserve a gorgeous wife or a fat old bag?  Anyway, if I do lose weight I had better do it before I get too old.  

12.10

Flat on back, motionless with arm strain.

I need gentle cotton wool wrapping loveliness.  I hurt.

I cannot eat much.  I cannot move an inch.  Well, I cannot move my arm an inch.

Goal: 12.7 by Friday.  Dunno.  Will try.

12.11

Well, yesterday morning I was all light and lovely.  I weighed in at SW with a nice 4lb down but then I celebrated with a "Friday off".  This means I am into next Friday's syns and will have to work ridiculously hard to claw it back.  I have gained 2lbs in a day.  It all started with a doughnut and went bready and puddingy from then on.

Goal of the week: 12.7 which means lettuce and jogging.

Still off chocolate.  Brilliant.  However, I have been warned that with persistence you can get the taste back. I will resist.  Wax and dust is how it tastes these days.  

12.9

Ok an improvement on 13 stone but
1. That was first thing naked.  Not later fully clothed.
2. My scales need a new batt.

If I am really really careful today I might make it to 12.8 and that will be 12.10 at SC which will still gimme a 4lb loss.  Good.

I really am a big fat lump.

Huge

Huge break spent getting huge.

Scales back to normal weight.  Me not quite the same story.

Friday: 13 stone.  (182 lbs)
Saturday: 12.12
Sunday: 12.11

Ok.  I need to lose 6lbs in a week.  I could if I exercised bonkersly and ate only lettuce.
Since last week I remained stationary and ate only doughnuts I feel any effort will work; perhaps not 6lbs work, but a bit.  I have already done 3 so that leaves only 3 more.  Piece of cake, I mean piece of celery.

There is the question of sustainability.  Can I honestly keep up this much effort in my desperate attempt to lose weight?  How will I feel by Wednesday?  Then if, by some weird miracle, I manage the whole week, how will I be the next week?

Oh well, commitment, gritted teeth and no bloody chocolate.  Actually, I don't like it any more.

175

Nothing like a crisis to make you lose weight.
I am having a crisis.  Every cloud as they say.

I am starting a scrap book today.  Everything I eat.  Brill.

I could sleep for a year.  I will try not to.  My metabolism will plummet.  

No idea

Haven't paid attention for ages.  Hate the whole thing.  Hate me.
T wants me to do a book called The Hunger Fix but it is just another diet book.  I cannot find anything in this one that inspires me other than a picture of a fat mouse and a thin mouse and I like the fat mouse better; it looks happier.

178

If you eat 1,050 cals of chocolate you will not lose weight.  I know.
It was lovely.  

176

I went to Slimming World where I faced a 4lb weight gain since I last graced their portals.

Good: I am still down 6lbs from the start.
Bad: I have gained 7lbs in the past two weeks.
Ugly: I am very fat.

I will lose loads this week.

New tactic: I will photograph everything I eat for a week.
This is hard work but quite good fun.

177

You may think this is bad; it was 180 yesterday.

So I had a look at the SW site and chose a diet off there that stipulated exactly what to shove in for a week.  Admittedly flapjacks didn't feature but they did make me poo.

I love my puppy.  Even if it does mean I am sedentary all day long watching him.  

176

Oh bollocks.

174

It's chocolate that does it.

I must stop eating so much crap stuff.

Huge swim yesterday.  I really ought to be able to get my weight down a bit with only a small amount of effort.

Right: 3 meals a day and no snacks.  No chocolate, no bread and no sugar.  No chance.  

174

Oh dear, been a bit of a porker Fattipuff of late.  I was just about to get my act together when I won an enormous Easter egg.

Just one good day.  May it be today.  Actually, I wasn't too bad yesterday.

I absolutely have to get back on track.  No more wine!  No more chocolate.  No more snacks.

172

Oh bollocks chocolate.  I ate so much of it.  After an enormous roast cooked by Mr Smith with every trimming and more I then attacked the Easter eggs bought for the Easter egg hunt.  Daim were boring, cream eggs are just gorgeously creme eggy, caramel eggs yummy sickly goo, smarties as you would expect, little ones a bit fiddly but we managed.

Goal of the week to lose 2 pounds by Friday and a bit more.

Chocolate is evil.  So is alcohol.

Today I will limit my chocolate intake and cut out all alcohol.  Difficult and easy.

Trying to come up with a way to lose weight without leaving your bed.  Eat nothing .... Then I'm stuck. 

171

Please God make me 170.  OK I won't eat enough chocolate to hold an Easter egg hunt I my stomach.    I will be controlled.  I will even attempt a no chocolate day.

It's Sunday.  I can drink on Sundays.  I would rather not but Mr Smith has a bottle of bubbly lined up for some reason.  I am always terrified it is to celebrate his leaving me but it's probably great golf.

171

V. Annoyed as I weighed in at half a pound off a stone lost at SW.  How frustrating is that?  13.5 pounds!  If I had worn something flimsier, not eaten that stupid cake or gone swimming I could have done it.

Right, concerted effort now.  Fridays are always my rubbish days and yesterday was pretty diabolical with a hot cross bun, toast and tara, cheese, proper lunch, macaroons, dinner: salmon and potatoes, Haagen Daz and chocolate.  I was jolly full.

OK. It's Graham Norton and me and a painting this morning.  The sooner it's finished I can go and play.

170

Oh wow.  And I was SO bad yesterday.  I went to the Nutmeg Cafe in Hythe and had two cakes.  The first, a Victoria Sponge, had weird cream in the middle that I didn't really like.  Also the sponge was rather heavy and not that good.  After I had eaten the whole thing to be sure I didn't like it I had a chocolate biscuity thing.  OMG.  It was heaven on earth.  Malteser chocolate tiffin.  It involved chocolate, syrup, butter, maltesers and biscuits with white and milk chocolate swirled thickly on the top.  Amazeballs. I waddled down the high street meaning to go to Waitrose but just heaved me and my stomachs into the car and drove heavily home.

I had many a drink (softie) in the pub.  So syns were at about 117.  I am supposed to not exceed 15.

171

I wanna bacon sarni - crispy bacon on plastic white with drippy butter and bacon fat oozing o'er the ketchup.

I want a donut with big jam.

I want 24 little macaroons in assorted colours.

I want Victoria Sponge with jam and buttercream.

I want cream tea.

I want a huge fry up.

I will have bran flakes.

172

Oh God, this is taking forever.  Since my weekend away with T I just haven't really got back on track.
I will have to be golden tomorrow and try to hit 170 by Friday.

I walked 20k today.  I was just going to blob around but somehow I got the walking bug and got going.  I got into smaller jeans but the flab hangs over the top.  I just want my clothes to be comfortable.

I need to get back into JB which I haven't even opened for two weeks.

I will read my reasons.  I absolutely have to get my BMI down.  I will.

172

I seem to have got off quite lightly considering the amount I ate over the weekend.  Yesterday T took me to a bakery for breakfast.  There were long bench tables to sit at with butter and jam and you helped yourself to any breads you fancied, toasted them and stuffed your face.  We started with boiled eggs and sour dough soldiers then moved on to toast with delicious strawberry jam and a big croissant.  I missed out on muesli, porridge, pain au chocolate, Eccles cakes, coffee cake (enormous), hummingbird pecan and banana cake, lemon polenta cake and chocolate brownies.  I was just too full.  I will have to go again.  There was also some gorgeous looking fruit bread too.  I actually couldn't eat anything else all day.

What I ate:  Friday night - enormous steak dinner followed by cheesecake.  Sat morn: breakfast at Carluccios.   Sat elevenses - hot chocolate with everything.  Sat lunch - not much.  Sat tea - muffin (big).  Sat dinner: not much due to horrible food at Zizzis but did have sorbet which was good.  Sunday brunch - Gorgeous cooked breakfast with hot cross bun bread.  Tea- more hcb bread.  Dinner: fabbo hot chicken salad.  Monday - two breakfasts, one enormous - see above.

Everything was megacarbs except my steak on Friday but I had loads of chips to help that down.
Now for a few days of calm food.  I want soup and juices.

My digestion is now back to normal.  

171

Thirteen pounds.  Most annoying; so nearly a stone just one more teeny little pound.

Have now worked out the terrible constipation situation.  I need to eat more and take more exercise.  If I eat so little I will not perform.  I have to work harder at exercising to burn off bigger meals.  Then everything works nicely and smoothly.

T thought I was much thinner.  My waist is smaller but my bum is vast.  So is my tum.  I will have to go to dreaded exercise classes I fear.  Last Monday I went to very good aqua aerobics which was quite gruelling but I did enjoy it.  I did day one of C25k.  I nearly died.  Well I didn't but it was damned hard work.

170/1 12.3

Getting there, still bunged up.  Did day 1 of C25k - rather hard work.  Need to put it on phone.  I am now hovering between 170 and 171.  I started at over 180 so that is jolly good.

172

No, I don't have diabetes but I am a bit prediabetes so I need to lose weight.  Good.  Singing from same psalter.  

172. 12.4

I have diabetes - I think.  I have almost every sign.  Tiredness, fatness, weeing lots, pooing less if at all, responding appallingly to sugar and aching like an old old person.

I will have to take myself to the doctor who will tell me to lose weight and take more exercise.  Funny that because that is exactly what I have been doing.  

173

Wrong way.  I have to be 170 by next Friday,  I can do it, constipation permitting.

I had quite a lot to eat yesterday.  I needed a proper meal as I was trying to survive on fly food.  I was trying to starve the poo out which didn't really work.

I missed Slimming World.  Oh well there will be a fabbo weight loss next week.

172

Can't go to Slimming World because I have to wait in for the washing machine repair man.  Boring.

174

It didn't work.  I am totally starving despite cooked breakfast and a pear.  Not any sign of a poo.
My cement mixer arrived.  Afternoon's work will be putting it together.

173

I ate raw cabbage.  It was rather nice actually.  It's that thing of crunchiness and greenness.  Anyway, I did manage a poo, albeit rather a small one.  Better than nowt.  I am trying to do a colon cleanse but then eat things like a Crunchie washed down with a diet coke.  I am supposed to be having fruit and raw vegetables.  Now I have a tummy ache.

I might try starvation today because my friend T says that it is the best way to cure constipation.  You just drinks lots of water and eat nothing til you get the shit out of you.

176

Oh dear.  We went out for Sunday lunch and I had the bonkers idea that as it was Sunday I could drink so I did.  I was blotto.  I felt very ill as a result.

I also decided that my innards need a decent workout as things have been so sluggish of late so I ate and ate and ate.  There, that should show them who's boss.  But what happens now?  It could either be a massive poo that hurts or no poo that hurts higher up or just a tiny poo and a pain or the runs.  I have managed a big fat 3lb weight gain.

I think I need to do three things today

1.  Eat almost nothing.
2.  Jump up and down a lot.
3.  Find a colon cleanse.

Right, time for an early morning walk to the sea to collect my car.

174

Still haven't been. It has been a week now and I feel quite horrid.  It's as though my bottom muscles have forgotten how to do it.  I need poo potions.

I am going to buy myself a big selection of fruit and veg and work my way through it, and bottles of water.  I have to do this.  More fibre.  OK.

I went to meet a walk but got the wrong venue.  I went to Hamstreet Station which is where they are next week.  So I came home, got Alexander to build me a raised bed, filled it with earth and made 7 concrete paving slabs to celebrate.  God, turning that cement was hard work.  I need a cement mixer.

It was all good exercise and we had takeaway pizza for dinner - lovely.  800 cals but I reckon I burnt off at least 500 with the garden work.

Now to get some seed compost and plant carrots.


Aha ... I pooed.  Not triumphant and much too hard, but I did it.

174

Gosh, glad it isn't weigh in today.

Went up to London for the day.  Chronically constipated which has one advantage in that I don't ever need to go when I am out and about.  I actually felt really ill last night and couldn't eat dinner so quite how I have put on weight I have no idea.  It must be all that poo in me weighing a ton.

I found a constipation ap on line that is a food diary.  Aha, this might help.  T says the best way is to eat nothing but drink lots; that helps expel the poo.  But I am starving!

Out walking this morning.  I hope I get the urge in the next hour or I don't think I can go for a walk with lots of people.  I will either be in pain or bursting.

Right, off to find a good wholesome breakfast - nasty cereals various.  

173

I did it.  Phew.  Now to SW where we have to add 2lbs for clothes.  

174

Only just not 173.  Might be tomorrow but I am going out to lunch with Naomi Pants today.  We are shopping.  Oooh lovely lovely shopping and lunch.

I had botox yesterday.  I am told if I keep it up for a year my lines will completely disappear over time. Oh wow.  Lovely, lovely doctor.  She is stunningly beautiful and full of botox.... But you can't tell.  She says if you cannot frown you become less angry.  Oh good because I am not too chuffed by idiot son washing tools (in his pockets) in the washing machine and breaking it.

I just have the big white line down the middle if my head to deal with and a lot more weight to lose and I might be back to my real age rather that fat old bat of 55 - oh hang on, I am 55.

174. 12.6

I was so so bad yesterday.  I ate cream tea and chocolate but somehow I came out at just the right number of cals.  Maybe a calorie is a calorie regardless from whence it is gleaned.  I do think sweet ones make fat.

Yesterday I ate cereal for brekker
Soup for lunch of the fartitits variety - cauliflower cheese soup.  I positively tooted up the high street.
I forgot to add bicarbonate to counteract the dreadful side effects.
Cream tea for tea.
Lime and sober in pub
Salad for dins
Twirl for extra loveliness.

I ended up with million syns over.  Will do it better today.

Friday is SW meeting and I would love to shift as much as possible by then.  So could I do another pound?  I am going out for lunch on Thurs.  tricky...  Salad.

175

Walked 15 miles yesterday,  ate lunch at tea shop, egg mayo sarnie and Bakewell tart.
Then went out for v fattening dinner at new Italian.
Cals allowed 3,000. Cals eaten probably 3,000.

175. 12.7

Hooray.  Losing weight and have dealt with huge constipation problem ... It was huge.

I ate an enormous dinner last night but the earth moved so there we are.  Sometimes a big load is required to shift a big load.  My bot hurts.

Doing less.  Honestly, all those boards and endless logging of every mouthful was just getting silly.
So, I have:
Finished Judith Beck, though now devotee so will never really finish as such.
Told WLR to go poke it for a week.
Not logging as such but being super careful.
Following Slimming World and counting my syns with care.

Today the boys are going to stay at their house.  I am free.... til they come home.

I am going to walk to Hythe, shooting permitting.  Well, I will walk to Dymchurch then see if I can go further.

Spring is here.  It is so sunny.  My greenhouse is all painted and ship shape.

I am going to finish projects various and start painting this week.

176

Too much.  Not only do I weigh too much but I am doing too much in the whole weight losing thing. I am losing weight Hooray but I seem to have joined everything there is to join and am writing on every Forum and logging in 3 or 4 different places and it is just too much.

I need a plan.

Yes, I will continue with Judith Beck because that is a good mindset.
Yes, I will continue with Slimming World because, although it is misguided in parts, I like the people and I think it is encouraging, especially getting weighed in each week.
No, I will not do WLR and all that logging.  I will give it a miss for a week.  I will just follow the SW program and count my syns and see how that goes rather than all those calories.
No, I will not waste hours and hours on the stupid WLR forum.
Yes, I will plan my food ahead.
Yes, I will lose weight.
No, I will not weigh myself every day.  It is obsessive.

T and I are writing a book.  You Cannot Diet With a Hangover ... We Tried.
It's brill.  She can do all the hard work and I can trollop about on the sidelines.

SEED - Some Exercise Every Day.

176

A vile vile hangover of the sort you want to die to make go away.  No sickness but an awful three day humdinger of a headache.  Execution please,now.  It is getting better but still lurking in the nether recesses of my head.  No more please.

I sat on the sofa all day staying within calories. It was hard work.  I was practising that Victorian belief that exercise increases appetite and therefore should be avoided by the corpulent; total bed rest with a light diet being the preferred treatment for obesity.  It seems to work.

I am now NO Alcohol for Lent.  Officially on several sites.  I am even running the effing thread on the forum but they seem to want it every day.  Oh well, maybe that's my new Lenten vigil, running the Lenten vigil.

178

Ate too much and drank too much and moved too little so now I'm fat. Magically, the pound has floated away now but not til after JB weigh in which has blemished my graph with a line going the wrong way.  Oh boring.  I will sort it out by Friday but I really want a snooze this afternoon.  Swoop for lunch.

Skipping rope arrived.  And, guess what ... I can skip.  I am really good at it.  I will skip tomorrow when my horrible hangover has dispersed.  Then I will learn to hula.

177

An interesting weekend when I ate too much and went up to 179.  Thank God I am back down again. I was starving all day yesterday and took virtually no exercise but managed to ditch those surplus 2lbs.  Period is with us. Groan.

28th March is the fatties meeting at the Savoy except hardly any of them are fat and the fat ones won't come.  My God, I feel embarrassed enough and I am a mere sylph compared to some.  Mostly they are paranoid rakes with a dreaded fear of ever being an ounce over anorexic.  So I bet everyone makes a HUGE effort for that.

177

Slight change of tactic.  Work in monthly increments not weekly or daily.  So the goal is to weigh less each month.  There will be brilliant weight loss months and rubbish ones but even if there are weight gain weeks by the end of the month they will be invisible.  I love it.

At the end of every month I have to weigh less than the previous month.  Yeah.

SW weigh in today.  Must find book, money, fruit, self, motivation and have a huge weight loss suddenly beforehand.  

176

My non adventure to Dymchurch was just a very long walk with a closed tea shop at the end of it.  I took a bus full of mad people back and spent the rest of the day undoing all the good in the pub.  Now have to visit my parents in London with a hangover.  Well, actually I am still drunk!  

178 lbs

Given the amount I ate over the weekend I think a gain of only 1lb is positively modest.  I have til Friday to sort that out and in the meantime will jump up and down a lot.

Trying to drink more water.  Definitely drank more tea over weekend but also vast quantities of alcohol.  Woke up this morning feeling batey.  Worked out meals to have them all usurped by Mr Bloody Thin Smith.

I have to stick to a plan.  He has to comply or do own thing.  

12.9 177lbs

A bit cheesed off with self for overeating and over drinking yesterday.  I was quite good in France but have been dreadful ever since.  Yesterday, after the incident of the sore thumb with Ben in A&E, I consoled myself with wine in the pub followed by Chinese takeaway.  I then topped it off with gargantuan amounts of nutty french chocolate.  I was truly full at the end of that.  Today will have to be very low cal if I am to lose weight.

My gift for losing 7lbs arrived - a lovely set of paints.  I so hope I have lost 7 lbs and I am not being too optimistic.  I wannabe thinner.

12.9 177lbs

Off to France for a big lunch.  I will have to work very hard to get it off though I plan to make the odd healthy choice such as fish.

12.10 178lbs

It went up to 12.12 AGAIN ... Groan.  With 9 mile walk yesterday it has come down again - phew.
Very controlled at Golf Club dinner.  In big shit with WLR for not logging.  Will now.  V bossy woman giving me grief.

12.10. 178lbs

At my SW weigh in I had lost 4lbs making my total 6lbs.  My starting weight must have been 13.2 wearing armour.

Now I just need to lose one more pound and it is a half stone.

Ate and drank too much last night but was really sick in the night so didn't gain weight.  Horribly unwell though, no headache thank goodness.

Golf club do ce soir.  Can hardly contain myself!

12.10 - 178lbs

Bridget Jones does pounds so I will too.

I am not losing weight very fast despite fasting weightily.  I have stuck religiously to Slimming World.  I think I should be at least a stone lighter by now.  Grumph!

Actually, the first day I went I think I wore a full suit of armour so the second week I weighed 4.5 lbs less.  Then I had a birthday and put on 2lbs.  Now I have lost 1lb.  Oh so complicated but sum total lost over three weeks is a mere 3.5lbs.  This is bloody slow.

Home weighings do not equal outside weighings due to clothing.

12.11

I thought I was being golden.  Evidently not.  All these little extras are really sabotaging any chance of weight loss.  I am the same weight as two years ago.

So today, with the Judith Beck book, I am going to plan every single thing I eat and cut down drastically on fats and sugar.  I can do this.  I have to because, despite my best efforts, all I am doing at the moment is maintenance.

Starting weight at Slimming World was 13, I think.  There is always that clothes allowance.
I am now 12.11 ... So that is 3 lbs down.  Not really very much.
Well, I have til Friday to get this right, or wear a nightie to the next meeting.

12.11

Did the hunger day properly.... ish.

Was so damned hungry had to cheat late afternoon and had a few crisps with tara and a chocolate biscuit and a few chocolate buttons and some of those lovely chocolate wafery things Xa brought back from France for my birthday and some ham bits.  I am so over syns again.  This was on a fast day too.

It is interesting how a tiny bit of food can really take the edge off your hunger and how I invariably eat too much.  

Time to look up Breatharian on Wikapedia.  

12.12

I put on 2lbs.  I always forget you have to add on clothes between here and the official weigh in.  To get even near to a mini weight loss on Slimming World I will now have to lose 5lbs this week.  That is unrealistic.  Snot Face Zoowoman says a glass of wine is 6 points.  I thought it was 4.  Oh!  SFZW was really mean to me 2 weeks ago freezing me out at SW and last night was foul to me in the pub.  I don't like her.  Of course I'm the bad guy and the whole pub hates me now.  Oh well, maybe I will stay out of there and lose lots of weight - no more glasses of 6 points.

I failed to do yesterday's Judith Beck exercise of not eating so you get really hungry then mark your hunger on a scale of one to ten.  I ate breakfast at 11 then when I felt peckish kept myself ballasted with chocolate buttons so I never really felt hungry.  I ruined the dinner because I was in a bate and ended up eating Benny & Jerrys Caramel Core ice cream.

12.13

After a week if perfection I got pissed on my birthday and ate the entire birthday cake - bollocks.

12.12

A fairly good weekend but little extras kept creeping in which meant I was way over cals and syns.

Today I have been ridiculously hungry.  Repeating mantra No food tastes as good as thin feels.
Anyway, how did I get so bloody fat?

There is a fundamental problem

Foods I like                                 Foods I hate

Chocciwocky.                               Yoghurt
Bagels                                            Ryvita
Butter.                                            Low fat spread
Gooey cheese.                               Stewed fruit

You get the picture.  I like meat and veg but I really like pudding much much more.

I love custard and toffee and cupcakes and marshmallows and shortbread and treacle and cream and french fancies and battenberg and flakes and boosts and toast dripping in butter with strawberry jam and cream tea and really nice white bread sandwiches or cheese doorstep sarnies and crisps.

I hate Brussel sprouts and being this hungry.

Poor fatty me.

12.11

Phew .... Going down. I'm going to London dancing and shopping.

I am hoping to get a few clothes and shoes and drop into bellydancing as one does.

Then party, spend rest of weekend with Sensible Thin Alison and eat lots of Sunday lunch.
Now to get my act together.

Over synning on Slimming World.  Need to really concentrate.  Is Judith Beck helping?  Dealing with my flatware today!  

13.0

Joined Slimming World.  Don't understand a word of it.  Getting thinner.
Need to exercise - horrid rainy rain.

13.1

Seeing what I ate in India .... Non stop .... I am amazed I didn't put in loads more weight but
1.  I was swimming every day
2.  I hardly had any sugar.

I had to take Imodium in India and it has done a fantastic cement job.  I am now at Day 6 with not a sign of any poo.  Quite convenient in a way; never caught short.  However, it is probably time things moved. I will visit the chemist tomorrow for earth mover.

I must move self as well in an attempt to jolly things along a bit.  A bit sedentary these days.  Mourning dead dog.  Oh I am so so so sad.  I want to comfort eat.  I have to be careful.