12.12

I was 12.11 but then we had the weekend off as it is the weekend off diet.  I haven't been so good for the past two days but it's fish for dinner tonight so I will follow that carefully.  It is suddenly cold and I want to eat loads to keep warm.  My goal is to get to 12.8 by next Monday.

12.13

Great weight loss despite eating three portions of dinner - absentees, I had to eat all theirs for them.  I was rather full.  Amazingly, I have had no cravings yet.  I did have a sip of wine last night but only a sip.  Chicken and couscous tonight.

Time for some exercise as I haven't done any yet.  Swimming here I come.

13 stone

I did not cut my head off despite having an awful headache for 5 days!

New Diet.  Both me and him are doing this one.  It is the "weekend off" diet.  It's going very well so far.  The food is delicious, really easy to cook and so interesting.  Yesterday was steak with watermelon, rocket and feta salad - amazing.  Today was chicken satay - delicious.  Tomorrow is salmon with lentils.

Despite all this yummy food I am losing weight.  I haven't been drinking but that is mainly on account of the headache.  There is an occasional glass of wine thrown in and at the weekend anything goes.  The rational behind this is dieting for 5 days is relatively easy but by the weekend you start to get cravings then you bog it all up.  With this you have whatever you want at the weekend which will probably result in you making quite sensible choices as you don't want to undo all the good work of the week.  I absolutely love this diet.

13 stone 3 pounds

I'm going to cut my head off.  Then I might weigh less.

12 stone 11lbs

Oh my goodness me.  That's 9 pounds in three days - wow.  I hit the bottle last night due to circs of grave concern and my goodness did I have a hangover this morning.  I didn't want much food so LL was just the thing until this evening when I had a little bit of curry and rice which was heavenly.  Back to saintly tomorrow.

Dropping like flies 12 stone 13 pounds

Well, hate it though I do, I have to admit that stinky old Lighter Life works a treat.  So that's an um er a 7 pound weight loss in two days.  Holy cupcakes Batman, that's pretty amazing even if I have a headache that renders me incapable of getting my head off the pillow.  This is because I am probably more dehydrated than my plants after I've been away and asked my kids to water them in my absence. My body thinks it been on the piss.  Just add water - lots of it.  In reality that's all I've lost is water but I still feel lighter and my trousers are looser, I think.

What's my BMI?  It was 33.  Now it's 31 and the snotty calculator says this puts me in the very overweight or obese category and I will die tomorrow if I don't lose weight.  Thanks!  I am actually working on it and anyway what about those people who are like 15 stone?  I am now in a bad mood - with a headache.

13 stone 3 pounds

I Lighter Lifed all day.  I was really hungry at about 6pm but not nearly as hungry as I was probably going to be tomorrow.  However, it is now tomorrow and, actually, I'm not that hungry at all.  Those potions somehow stop the gnawing hunger quite well.  They don't stop the cravings though.  Ben tried to take me out to lunch on a BOGOFF pizza offer at Pizza Express which I had to desist.  The devil's work.  Anyway, it paid off as I am now3lbs down - a good start.

French fat - 13stone 6 pounds BMI 33

I went to France and gained an amazing 15 pounds.  OMG.
That's an awful lot in two weeks.  Oh well, treadmill starts today.
Plan of Action: One week of Lighter Life only. Two weeks of Lighter Life Light.

Au Revoir Dukan

Weight: 12.5

Well it's au revoir stupid horrible Dukan Diet that cost me £120!  I can't believe I signed up for that.  I am so pleased to see the back of it.  I did eat fish yesterday, salmon, and I really liked it. Phew as I was getting a bit worried about my fish anathema. It's no more revolting fromage frais or yoghurt or cottage cheese and fish I don't like.

New diet is Weight Loss Resources where you just log in what you eat every day and by taking note of every last thing you ram into your gob you automatically pay a bit more attention to it....and EAT NORMAL FOOD.  Phew.    God, I'm hungry.

I hate this diet

Weight: 12.4

I hate fish. I used to like fish but suddenly I hate it which is a shame because the Dukan diet is heavy on fish. I also hate yoghurt, fromage frais, cottage cheese, low fat cream cheese, quark and curds. I am desperately trying to find something I like and want to eat that is actually allowed on this very strict regime. It's guinea fowl tonight - I know I like that.

I lie on my daily report claiming to have had no slip ups when I've eaten no diet food all day, only fattening things. I then have to lie about my weight. I think I had better either come clean or stick to the damned diet.

Diet's going well

As you can see it's going a treat. Gosh, it was/is good.

Camembert - ooh la la

My headache has gone. I found the perfect cure - delicious gooey yummy baked camembert in our new camembert baking dish. Camembert - that's french; this diet's french so I have just tweeked it a bit. And how much better I feel I cannot tell you! Fuck off fromage frais. Yeah!

I need to take some exercise. Swimming demain. Oui.

Boosting my diet

Weight: 12.4

I had to succumb to a Cadbury's Boost because:
1. I really wanted chocolate.
2. Nothing was satisfying my craving for something delicious.
3. Frog diet was beginning to piss me off big time.

I was actually allowed a glass of wine with dinner but I didn't have one. Vegetables were very welcome and I had asparagus with my salad at lunch and felt the diuretic benefits all afternoon and evening. However, it must be good for me to eliminate all that water.

I have a ghastly headache

Frog food

Weight: 12.5

I was finding the whole thing pretty unbearable but I have lost 3 pounds in 2 days so it's going Ok and today I am allowed WINE - yippee, and VEGETABLES - more super yippee.

I am now going to ditch the hideous endless yoghurts and eat some normal food. Breakfast still looks mighty tricky but I'll find something that isn't yoghurt. Health food requirements: wheat bran and something else - forgotten what but it'll come to me.

I am surprised to have lost 3lbs as I feel quite bloated (water consumption) and I have eaten a heck of a lot of food - horrible food but food nonetheless.

Dukan do it

Weight: 12.8

Took my eye off the ball for a bit and sat around a bit too much and ate many a biscuit.
Yesterday started the French Dukan diet which is horribly restrictive and really just horribly horrible. After eating the whole of Normandy in fromage frais, helped down with cottage cheese and yoghurt I thought I might puke. I did have chicken for lunch and fish for dinner but it was all tres bland and not nearly as nice as a Cadbury's cream egg which is what I really wanted. Breakfast this morning was diabolically vile; lunch was worse.

I will persevere as I spent money on this thing, in fact beaucoup d'argent so I had better give it my best shot. However, there will be modifications unless I want to go stark raving bonkers. Perhaps two days isn't really enough to judge it and it does change every day and I could easily ditch all this hideous dairy muck and have a bit more steak. Spicy chicken tonight.

Jockey nuts

Weight 12.0
Thank God. maybe I wasn't standing quite right on the scales yesterday. Yes I was, I did several weighs to make sure.

Jockey's breakfast muesli:-
Oats, malted barley, linseed, hemp seeds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, raisins, figs & prunes.
Soak all these in milk, leave for an hour or so then add half a shredded apple and a little honey.
I soak it overnight so I know exactly what I'm having for brekker.

The only problem with this is it designed for a jockey who is then going to go out riding a great big racehorse all day not sit on his arse gazing into space.

Oh My God

Weight 12.4

How the heck did that happen?

Blood, sweat and tears

Weight: 12.0

Oh dear.

I had a blood test on Wed and am awaiting the results. I have a nasty feeling the doctor will be sending for me as I am hideously overweight with high cholesterol and blood pressure. In the meantime I am doing the menopause like it's a brand new dance. Well, actually, after three rather ghastly days it has all settled down now and I feel fine. In fact I feel rather well. I swam miles and did a bit of shed building so I am not completely inert. I am just so bloody fat I could cry.

Way up

Weight: Too scared to look.

I have eaten and eaten and eaten and I just can't stop eating. Oh dear. I am going to get awfully fat if I don't stop this out of control behaviour.

Tomorrow. Serious stuff.

Somewhere near the top of 11

Weight: Somewhere between 11.11 and 11.13

But I just love food. I have overdone it a bit lately I must admit. Time for control methinks. After breakfast!

Eat less, move more

Weight 11.10
This is hardly surprising as I only get out of bed in order to get something to eat. I can see myself turning into one of those giant fat people with rolls and rolls of fat who cannot move but think the state owe them 24 hour medical care and another pork pie. I went swimming to allay this inertia for an hour. I walked the dog. Today I will do more and eat less. Perhaps I will go back on Lighter Life. After all I am starting at a much lower weight so should go down to my goal weight quite quickly. But what for? He's gone. I want no other. Maybe I ought to do this for me and me alone.

Inertia

11.7
God knows how. I'll have another biscuit and watch a bit more crap telly and let you know what happens.

Undeserving

Weight: 11stone 8lbs

But I don't deserve to be 11 stone 8lbs as I have taken no exercise whatsoever and live on alcohol and chocolate. And last night I had a curry. Oh well it should get even better when I get off my arse. I feel very numb these days, when I am not feeling heartbroken. My heart is so bandaged together I can't feel anything. I don't want to eat much - except rubbish. Bread, butter, cheese, chocolate, biscuits and wine. Dreadful!

On it goes

11.9


My weight is OK. It went down massively but I've had a few good meals the past two days so am back up again .. a bit. I'm thinking of going swimming. I'm thinking of going running. I'm thinking of topping myself.

Many lunches

Weight 11.11
Went swimming through child soup as it's half term - managed 30 lengths.
Walked round Clapham stopping for cheese and biccies with MC then walked dog. When I got home I had a giant fridge raid followed by chilli in a tortilla then felt stupidly full. I couldn't manage dinner but did have some strawberry icecream and a flake and, surprise surprise, I put on weight.
Will I never learn?

Britain's Biggest Fatso

Weight: 11.10

Watching British Biggest Loser last night did not inspire me to lose weight. Firstly, I am quarter of the size of most of them and secondly making these poor people do 4 hefty gym sessions per day seems ridiculous. When they return to their normal lives and normal work etc., they will get fat again. So I ate a big bowl of pasta followed by strawberry ice cream in front of it.

Poor Fat Me

Weight: 11.12

Although I am still gloriously brown I am also gloriously heavy. Mr Smith was right when he said I would put on weight the moment I recovered from my hangover and ate things. I was so sick yesterday there was bound to be a drop. However, I spent the whole day in bed and ate an enormous roast dinner at the end of it to put things back to normal. I see not much different happening today. I am suffering from depression and a broken heart and a hangover all of which need very gentle nursing. Poor fat Me.

one one one one

Weight: 11.11
This is better but not what I need to be by Thursday. So it will be hard work this week. I have a terrible hangover and was violently sick all night. This is probably good for weight loss though not ideal.

Shattered heart

Weight: 11stone 12lbs

Hooray - getting there. I have my period but don't feel too bloated. The vast fluid retention I had from flying has diminished. I still have no energy.

Party tonight, nothing fits, bought new dress size 12 but super stretchy. I look fat. I must look happy and not cry. I am so so so sad. I have truly crashed.

Wheeee

Weight: 12stone 1 pound

If only weight loss could always be like this. Eat as much as you can and lose 5 pounds instantly. However, I never stop peeing - all that fluid retention from flying and I also have my period. The next couple of days are pretty crucial. I should be able to get below 12 stone then start the hard work again. I would swim but I have period pains. I'll start in earnest on Monday.

Post holiday

Leaving weight: 11 stone 5 pounds
Today's weight: 12 stone 6 pounds. Wow!

Admittedly the whole point of the diet was to lose weight for the holiday but upon my return I have discovered that I have managed to gain more than a stone in 2 weeks. Well done me! So now I will get back on the diet and back on the exercise, especially the running and lose some pounds. I will be thin again soon but in the meantime I need to sleep. I am so tired after a nightflight home and so bloated - aeroplanes do that to me. I'm all fat fingers and bolster legs.
I'm going shopping later and it will be all protein and no more stupid carbs for me and lots of water.

Angry

11.8 But I am angry and anger makes me want to eat and eat and eat until I am fat fat fat.

I am hungry for the first time since October. I am ravenous. I am so out of love and so cross and so fucking starving. I don't care what I eat; yesterday it was doughnuts and chocolate and copious amounts of alcohol with some very cosy tv and a curled up position with cushions all afternoon. This sadly must stop.

Today will be a four LL day today. Then I will go to Zumba. Well, I might not manage the four potions and nothing else but I will at least go through the motions. I can do it. I have to.
If I just shift a few more pounds before my holiday it gives me scope to eat whilst I am there and not worry too much.

Weight 11.10

Period. Ggggggrrrrr!

Periods make me big fat and bloated and very heavy and quite cross.

Weight gain

Not only have you produced Crunchie bics but Caramel as well. Delicious and so so so fattening.
This is the first week I have been hungry since October and a huge voracious appetite has descended. I just want to eat all the time anything and everything. Ooooh eck; I'm no longer in love.

Bread, cheese, pringles, chocolate and a huge number of biscuits as well as meals.
Result: 5lbs weight gain in a week.

Weight: 11.11 Despite enormous amounts of exercise. Off to top myself.

Crunchie bisciuts

Dear Cadburys, How dare you produce anything so delicious and delectable and irresistible. No wonder you've been taken over, serves you right. I am now fat and it's all your fault.

Weight 11stone 8lbs but probably loads more now.

Swam a million miles yesterday. Went to Zumba this morning. Feel great but so wish I hadn't eaten those biccies and there are still more.

Conflicting scales

Weight 11st 7lbs
This was looking good but I then went swimming and weighed myself in the changing room and it was 11stone 12lbs. Who do I believe? Sadly, I think club scales are more accurate but I like mine better.

It's starvation til Tuesday now until I get weighed at LL. Poor me.

Home and dry

Weight 11.9

I did go to Lighter life then I went to the sea and I was very good and ate things. In fact I ate things that I shouldn't have but I came back brilliantly thin. Now I know it will go up for a day then it's vital that I keep my mind absolutely on the ball and stick vigilantly to the plan. This week the meeting has moved from Thurs to Tues which gives much less time to lose weight. In fact that means only today and tomorrow to get it together. I will just have to be hungry. I now wish I had been a bit more sensible on Friday and Saturday. Actually, Fri wasn't bad but yesterday I got home and needed comfort food. I just needed comfort everything. Oh the duvet of home.

Phase two

Weight: 11.8 which I know is still vastly huge but it's a good starting point for phase 2.
Gosh I am full of excitement today. Let's hope that over the next few days I can get thinner. I really must get below 11 stone before my jolly holiday - preferably 10 and a half. Off to the sea where I will try not to starve - something at which I am champion when I'm there.

It's Lighter life today and, although I am in two minds about going, I think I ought to tip up and at last try and keep to it. Then I will be thin - well, thinner.

Imminent holiday

In less than a month I will be in the Caribbean sunning my very fat arse. Right, action stations.
Enough stupid Christmas food, time for a clear up and and a fridge clean out and no more crap for me. I am going to be very good from now on and get my weight down to below 11 stone - tricky I know but I can do it.

Bloody Lighter Life woman is packing up shop and moving town. That's all very well but what about me? I know I am a bit half hearted and haven't been for ages but eventually I will run out of food packs and need more - then what? I am a bit worried that without it I will put on all the weight I've lost and it will have all been an expensive waste of time and money. No, I will find out what the deal is on Thursday; I think there maybe a Putney person.

Weight 11.10

New lighter Life

Weight: 11.11
Feeling: Fat
Ate stupid biscuits and a chinese meal. The chinese meal was dinner so I had to have it - not all the rice and noodles but some of it. However, the stupid biscuits, and so many of them, were just plain idiocy. Also I ate a billion Pringles. Oh those things are dreadful.

Masterplan for today: 4 Lighter lifes. Impossible I know, but I will try. How on earth do you make the porridge less lumpy?

chinese laundry

Weight: 11.11
Feeling: Fat
Ate stupid biscuits and a chinese meal. The chinese meal was dinner so I had to have it - not all the rice and noodles but some of it. However, the stupid biscuits, and so many of them, were just plain idiocy. Also I ate a billion Pringles. Oh those things are dreadful.

Masterplan for today: 4 Lighter lifes. Impossible I know, but I will try. How on earth do you make the porridge less lumpy?