Disatisfied

This is really odd - no I mean strangely strange. There I was driving along when all of a sudden I had a craving. Not just a mild "I would quite fancy ..." No, it was more of "If I don't get a cream cake in the next half hour I am going to kill someone." I couldn't have been that hungry because I'd had my nasty little birdseed breakfast. I think it was a monster carb/sugar craving. I do think I genuinely needed something sweet but probably not 2 slices of strawberry cheesecake, 2 cream slices, 2 mini battenburgs and 3 french fancies and some milk. Oh dear. I now feel quite dizzy with a slight pain in my tummy. I don't think it's hunger. But you know what's really odd? I could happily eat it all again.

Oh 12.8 today

Hangover

Went to Birmingham and ate a lovely picnic lunch with friends and wine then in the evening cooked a fabulous dinner and ate and drank enormous quantities which resulted in me neither weighing nor feeling quite my normal self. In fact I had to retire to my bed or sofa for two days. It was a bad one.

However, I am better now and have been prancing about trying to make up for my total lack of energy over the weekend.

Weight: Oh I dunno.
Diet: Eating anything that looks like food.

Hot head

Exercising makes my hair all sweaty.

Groovin' along

Weight: 12.6
Mood: Groovy

Went to Zumba class in Roehampton last night and nearly died. It was brill but lasted a whole hour. I was very red in the face afterwards for ages. In fact I was still quite red this morning. I have looked this up and it's all about not getting enough oxygen around your body. Sounds scarey - heart condition or maybe I just forget to breath as I am concentrating so hard on the moves.

Half Way

Weight: 12stone 7lbs Don't know how.
Mood: Euphoric

Ate quite a lot this weekend - lovely Sunday lunch of salady things as the weather cheered up and became all summery in the afternoon. Then I had to plough through a roast dinner that I didn't really want. I would have happily settled for a glass of water.

Looking forward to my Zumba class this morning, if I am able to get there. This might be tricky as I have to wait in for cow collectors. If not, I will do gym things and then swim. The gym equipment is so confusing - lots of computer screens with readouts and tv programs. I will crack it and try to avoid the attention of a personal trainer. they have all the charm of a darleck.

Back on Track

Weight: 12.8 - Less than Mr Smith weyhey!
Mood: Positive
Goal: 4lbs over the next 10 days. This is realistic, any more would be a bonus. OK I've moved the goalpost, don't tell me you've never done that.

I am less fat. My huge stomach has subsided. I am feeling much fitter. I am in a really good mood. I am wearing a lovely spotty jersey that Claudia loves and a pair of leggings that almost fit. It's all much better.

Actually, I am a bit pissed as we have just had champagne in celebration of no kids this weekend! Weehee.

How to feel really fat

My thinnest friend, Marietta, turned up to aerobics this morning. To say she is a bit thin is like saying Dawn French is a bit fat. In fact she looks very anorexic and her skinniness frightens people. So there we were in the class of fit people looking like Little and Large. I have never felt so fat.

Weight: Don't ask
Goal: Might have to be reset
Feeling: Bloody enormous.

Carb Bender

Oh dear oh dear. Bad bad bad big fatty fatso. I ate and ate and ate for two days non stop; every calorie and carb I could find I shoved into my fat gob. Some of it was nice, some of it was glorious but mostly it was just a vehicle to quell the ravenous hunger I was suffering as a symptom of a hangover x 2. And now I don't want to do anything except stay in bed, but I did that yesterday. I think it's mind over matter and a swim at the very least if not Zumba class as well.

Weight: Fuck knows - far too ashamed to look.
Mood: Heavy and half asleep.

Later the same day

I didn't go to Aqua Zumba, I will fry in Fat Hell instead.
And I had cooked beakfast.
And two biscuits.
Then I made some damson jam from our damsons.
I really really want a cup cake.

Jellied Eels

Weight: 12.9
Only one pound of collateral damage. That's not too bad. We went to a fish restaurant and I tried jellied eels - they were vile. Then I had horrible fish with nasty underdone chips. And lots of nice wine. I now have an upset stomach and I feel hungover. I can't face aqua zumba today. Oh maybe I should go. It'll wake me up. Actually, I feel sick.

Salad and stuff

Weight: 12.8
Not only am I going out for lunch today but also dinner - oh God help me.

Later pm: Ate a sensible worthy little salad for lunch but was so hungry had to resort to strawberry cheesecake for pudding. I now feel full and in need of a little rest before the next bout of eating. At least I didn't drink any alcohol. I'll do that tonight.

A bit better

Weight 12.9
Better, not actually reaching for the sharp instruments with which to slash my wrists -but nearly.

Woops

Weight: 12.11
Oh bloody hell. No idea how this happened. I am now going to kill myself.

Fairy cakes don't make fairy weight

I have piled on masses of weight. How? I thought I was being super careful -obviously not. I did eat the odd extra thing and I did go out for a curry last night but all was teeny. I will have to work harder at this. I'm not sure I can.

Weight: 12.10
Diet: Gone a bit wrong
Mood: Suicidal

I think I did that thing of "I've eaten my diet so now I'll have something else."
Cup cakes are not good. They really make me fat. I also had a scone and then curry and a glass of wine - it all mounts up.

Zumba cake eater

For breakfast today I ate a blueberry muffin and a fucking fairy cake and I so so so wish I hadn't. I also wish I hadn't eaten yesterday's ciabbatta roll or giant helping of lasagne.

Today's weight: 12.8 and a half pounds.
Goal: Always a good idea to keep one in mind. 11.13 (9 pounds) Come on!

I went to Zumba today. I loved it. I sweated and jiggled and wiggled and jumped and jazzed and zumba zumbaed. I am going to get thinner doing that, definitely. I was by far the fattest person in the class. I probably always will be looking at the build of most of those stick insects but I could be a bit less huge. I must do more zumba and less cake eating.

The blueberry muffin

For breakfast I ate a blueberry muffin with cheesecake icing. Number of cals: Approx 3,000,000 and some more for the blueberry on the top. What I could do: Sit around all day fretting about the ingested muffin; try to sick it up; take laxatives to get it through me; eat all the other muffins in the batch; cry; moan about how fat I am to anyone who will listen; get on with my day and stick to my diet as though this had never happened. I think I'll pick the last one please Chris, final answer.

Weight: same as yesterday.

Six pounds and counting

I did it all perfectly for one day. I ate my fruit and nuts for breakfast, my gooey chocolate bar, my lunchtime drink and another different super sickly bar and then my Hungarian goulash for dinner and now I weigh:

12stone 8lbs

I know it's not a huge loss but it's a really brilliant shift from 13stone and, although it feels like I've been doing this forever, it's only been a few days. (About 9).
Only one more pound to go then I will have lost half a stone. weehee.

So now we have 8lbs to lose in 21 days. Swimming today or aqua zumba if I get a move on.

Just the same

Here's something surprising. After a delicious dinner cooked by Internet Dating Jane, I did not wake up in the morning 3 stone lighter. I woke up in the morning exactly the same weight as yesterday.

Starting weight: 13stone
Current weight: 12stone 9 lbs
Story so far: 5lbs down
Diet: Slimfast, half heartedly.

Slimfast - Fast slim

Starting weight: 13 stone
Current weight: 12stone 9lbs
Diet: Slimfast

Feeling: Happy to have ditched 5 pounds in one week - a good start to my pre-Canada diet.

Slimfast drinks and bars are disgustingly sweet. They are also very high in calories. I think after a week or so I will start substituting them with things of the equivalent number of calories - things I actually like. I would love the shakes as pudding but not two of them for lunch - just way too sickly. Maybe they are good way to persuade you to eat FOOD ie these are disgusting, why not try food for lunch? It's a whole heap nicer.

DO NOT READ THIS

Do not attempt to read any of the following drivel. It will be boring beyond arse numbing. It is simply a vehicle for me to try and stick to a diet of some sort and will probably go along the lines of "Got up ate breakfast went for a walk etc etc." Actually, my other blog isn't much better but having this one on the go might keep the dreary diet stuff off the more fun pages of my life.

Starting weight: 13 stone
Current weight: 12stone 10pounds
Current goal: 11 stone 13 pounds
Reason for dieting: Forthcoming trip to Canada.
Current diet: Slimfast
Current mood: OK. Avoiding mirrors and photos of self.
Clothes size: 18 cramming myself into a 16.