171

Only a 1lb gain over Christmas.  Wow.  That is Amazeballs.  Dead dodgy scales at SW but most people had huge gains so not that bad.  Mammoth swim yesterday.

Started my new focus following the Benjamin Franklin system of self improvement.

My code word is toffees

T - temperance
O - orderliness
F - frugality
F - food
E - exercise
E - efficiency/industry
S - start/sleep.

170

Stand back, I'm not sure my skin will hold it all in.  I can feel myself getting fatter and fatter, heavier and heavier as I take less and less exercise and gradually morph into my sofa.

Such fun.

169

I set my maximum weight gain for Christmas at 172.  Still a way to go then!

I ate SO much and drank SO much.  It was lovely lovely lovely.  And now to play with my nutribullet.  It seems to require a pineapple and a pear.  Where am I going to find those on bank holiday Boxing Day with all the shops shut?  Mr Smith doesn't think of the whole thing but I suppose he wouldn't have known without opening the box to review the instructions.

Some exercise?  Dog walk?  Well, maybe.  I do have lovely new wellies.

169

Dreadful Friday - but no booze
Good Saturday - but too much booze.

167

Getting better.  The only thing I am doing differently is going to the gym more.  So I will do more.

169

Well blow me down with a feather ... After a weekend away I haven't gained weight.  That just proves  my theory of eat more lose more.  When I undereat I do not lose weight.  I wish I had weighed myself yesterday because I think it woud have been less.  Anyway, I will do big exercise ans sensible eating today.  In fact I will aim to do that all week.

169

Oh bollocks.  Gym gym, swimswim, horrible food, only veg with rice noodles for dins, no cakes or biscuits or anything nice and I have put on weight.  Grrrr.  

168

Took no exercise whatsoever.  Bought a Christmas tree.  My goodness I am fed up with eating horrible food that makes me feel sick.

Spirulina - slime from the bottom of a fish tank would taste better.
Vegetable curry - hot vomit.
Vegetarian risotto - so much nicer once Mr Smith had added chorizzo.
Blueberry and banana juice - potentially great but so wasn't.
Vegan cheese - solidified sick.

I need a bacon sarnie.

I wonder what horrors we have in store today.

169

I didn't lose weight because I did not go swimming as I usually do on a Tues. I lolled about and didn't feel like it.  I went to Christine's soup kitchen at her church for lunch and had a lovely brocolli and non vegan Stilton soup.  Yum yum.  With bread - no butter.

I don't like being vegan any more.  Spirulina is vile but can be outnastied by my vegetable curry which was absolutely disgusting.  I ate all sorts of bad things at quilting including loads of cheese straws which were wrong on a hundred levels and peanuts which I don't even like - all washed down with a couple of glasses of wine.  They were actually of some benefit in that they made my drive home much warmer and easier.

I drank more wine and ate two shortbread biscuits and, for a bit, felt human.

Today I am on the sloe gin.  Quite lovely.  

169

Golden day of vile vegan fare.  No dairy, no sugar, no meat, no eggs, no cheese, no cakes, no biscuits, no alcohol.  Blinking heck I am amazed I found anything to eat at all.  I had alpro in tea, nut cheese, veg risotto with quinoa.  And today I am going for a bright green spirulina drink.  And a swim.

169

All set for vegetarian week.

I love my vegan cheese.

171

Ooooh eck.  And a big lunch to come.

Vegan week tomorrow.

169

Not a notable difference despite gym and big big walk.

170

why?  When I have been so bloody golden.  No wine no cake no biscuits.  Nothing nice.

168

Despite a HUGE gym session and GIANT swim I am still 168 but I am bunged up and I hurt inside.
I ate perfectly.
I did have two glasses of white wine but so what, that should aid my digestion.

I am awaiting the delivery of my plant power book with great anticipation.  This should be a great aid to my five days.

Decision: no more Slimming World after December.  Enough already.  I know how to do it now so I don't need to keep paying every stupid week.  Also when I go away I will then have to rejoin on my return which will mean I start again and my 17lbs lost will never be counted again.  That is chizzy.

168

Sometimes I just love Mondays.  Today starts the week off with a lovely clean sheet.  I do think 168 is a superb starting place with a view to 166 by Friday.

I ate too much salty dried ham today.  I am very thirsty with gut ache from the chewy bits.

170

Going down.  Phew.  

173

That is pretty spectacular - 5lbs on in one day.
I ate and ate and ate.  We then went out for dinner.  Wow, I have some work to do.  I was so mega pissed off with putting on weight despite being super good and upping the exercise that I just went beserk.

I had a lot to drink at my party and loads to eat although it was mostly low fat low cal food.  So now I absolutely have to get my act together.

No more biscuits - that's easy as I ate them all.

However, being full for once was lovely.  Being really lazy all day long was also divine.  Not weeing every ten minutes was a bit of a relief too.

So now to reverse the damage.  Here I go.  Wish me luck.  

168

Despite an awful weekend and huge dinner last night I am nit forlorn by 168.  It is a good starting point for a Monday.  I am really quite looking forward to my vegan 5 days again.  According to my sister in law, who is super skinny due to hard exercise, you need to go gluten free to get your stomach flatter.  She used to have a dreadful big tum.  Poor thing no matter how much she exercised and how well she dieted always in her ballroom dancing costumes she looked fat.  She wasn't fat but was carrying a lot on her front.

I am tired and crotchety today from drinking too much.

167

167 despite a marzipan eating contest with Suzanne yesterday.  I walked to the other end of the town to get some fabric I didn't actually need from a friend yesterday evening, and back.  Oh I am so pleased with myself.  This honestly is not unsustainable.  I ate biscuits.  I ate ice cream.  I ate a random banana.  I ate three meals.  I ate bread.  Gawd, I just can't believe it.  I am doing so well.

168

That is still 12 stone then there are clothes to add.  Oh this is such hard work.
I just want to get to my 1 stone off with SW.  Then I have to do some more.  Sigh.

169

There was a little rise but nothing too drastic after the wine incident. I feel 168 within my grasp but that is only 12 stone not 11.13.   I could absolutely work my arse off and eat nothing for a week to shift another pound but then there is the next week to think of. .  I don't want to do it that badly or quickly.  

170

I felt monumentally cheesed off with things yesterday and not as euphoric as I should have been at losing 3lbs.  I drank two bottles of wine.  They were divine, I was divine, all was fab.  Today I am still drunk.  The hangover is on the backburner, I can feel it lurking.  I am dreading the weight gain.  I am remembering a little motto that keeps me off booze "You cannot diet with a hangover".  I will soon be hit by the yearning for carbs.  I will then retire to bed for three days.  Oh well, I have nothing much on this week so it doesn't really matter.  I absolutely loved being drunk.  It was lovely.  I was not out of control I was just in a happy mood.

No more groups

I weighed in at 3lbs down.  Then on the way home I met Claire, lovely lovely Claire who just made everything better.  She asked me why I was going to a group that I don't particularly enjoy just to feel deflated when I haven't lost weight.  Is it for the little clap of applause when I have actuallynditched a couple of pounds? Am I only doing it in a pets win prizes kind of way?  Yes, probably.  I am better than that.  I can do it on my own.  After all does Nigella line up each week, pay her fiver and feel slightly humiliated?  I think not. I don't like group therapy.  I think it comes down to owning up to your social class and behaving accordingly.  I am not a great big fat woman off a council estate with a behind the size of a county.  No, it is time to grow up and go solo.

I will continue until Christmas because I am committed but after that no more.  It just ain't for me and  I am not for them.  If I get really desperado after my month in the Caribbean I will go further afield to an area with posher people.  I might get on better there.

I have to lose weight for me and nobody else.  That is the key.

169

I have put on a tiny bit of weight which is a bit frustrating especially when you consider how inedible my dinner was.  It was squash and carrots and sweet potato casserole with chilli and onions and lots of spices and, to be perfectly honest, it was vile.  The ancient couscous wasn't that endearing either.  I will make it into worthy soup.

I strained my shoulder at the outdoor gym and everyone at SW hates me.  So, all in all, not a good day.

169

That's a first for eons.  Blimey, below 170 pounds.  Mind you I have a vile headache and the gruesome diet is not sustainable.  I am also in the doghouse at my fat club for being rude and mouthy.  Oh dear, again!  This will sure as heck ruin my appetite and make my weight plummet.  I have to go on Friday but I am not staying for the chit chat.  The teacher rang me up and gave me a right bollocking.  Poor me.  I probably deserved it but I am a bit embarrassed.

And so I soldier on eating 1000 calories of plant based foods.  Only one more day to go.  Wheehee.  Then I have to do it again next month.  I have to start on a Sunday in order to finish on a Thursday night.  Mind you this is only to fit in with Fat Club and if I am to be drummed out of the brownies I may as well just run it from Monday to Friday and enjoy my Sunday roast.

Plant based foods rules out milk, eggs, yoghurt and cheese and I have had all four.  I have avoided butter but I have had the odd biscuit and cake.

One hundred and sixty nine and losing - wow.

172

I have had some ups and downs of late. I went out for a wonderful dinner on Friday and put on a couple of pounds which I have now ditched.  I was very very full.

I attempted a new diet but Day 1 went wrong as it sometimes does but I remounted the vegetarian horse and did a food plan for my five day plant based foods only diet.  1000 calories of plant based foods for five days a month.  I have been giving it my all so should be super thin in no time!

I can get my trousers on.  There's a surprise.

Day two vegetarian diet.  What horrors lie in store?  I think it's veg curry tonight.  I will consult with the oracle, Mr S.  

172

All angry and cakey and in urgent need of exercise before I get even fatter and flabbier.

I am in a big fat bate.  I need to get rid of this big dark cloud sitting over my head.  Not like me.  Maybe my swim today will release some dolphins.  

172

woopsadaisy.

170

The scales at SW had gone a bit wrong and we all had amazing weight losses.  Oh well, they will probably be corrected next week and we will all be fat again.

I had lost 3lbs.  Not totally convinced.  Never mind, on the assumption that a loss spurs on more loss I will do well this week.

And now for some serious digging and less eating.  I discovered white chocolate yesterday. NO.  Never again.  Oh dear.  

170

Now to keep it there or under.

169 seems nice to me.  Trouble is ... I just ate a huge bowl of bananas and cream custard - amazing.
I did go to the outdoor gym and did 30 really good minutes and 10 stupid ones chatting to Ceri.  I don't think that quite covers the custard although I did use half cal sweetener.

Oh 169 would be so good.

171

Come on 170.

Mind you there have been some biscuit moments, some cheese moments and other crap moments.  If I have no biscuits tomorrow I might, just might, make it to 170.  But then I might start tomorrow at 174.  Oh this is so damned hard.

172

Blimey o Reilly this losing weight thing is marvellous.  People keep noticing.  I have that lovely euphoric feeling like being in love without the nausea.  I am in love, with ME.  I have that slightly heightened self esteem.  I am beautiful.

And today I will lose more and the next day and the day after that.  170 .... Please.  By Friday.

171

Blimey, said the queen biscuit eater, how on earth did that happen? As she helped herself to a third slice of Swiss roll.  I think giving up booze is the answer said her fairy godmother who looked like a Beryl Cook character with wings.

So folks, conclusion, gasping, panting, yearning, and being a bit stroppy gives you a smaller arse.  Actually my derrière has not actually improved but my waist and tum are reduced.

Of course this looks like I have only lost a pound since the last time I weighed myself but in reality it hasn't been quite as smooth as that with big increases all over the place but now, after two weeks off the pop, my golly miss Molly that looks better.

Off to the golf club for lunch to eat dead animals and as many roast potatoes and Yorkshire puds as will fit on my plate.  I have a painting to finish before that then the ironing.  The good thing about not drinking is I know I could do the ironing when I get back but I will probably just have a nap.

172

A little bit better.  If I can make it to 170 this week I will be thrilled.

Dog has fleas.

174

Weight same as last week despite very goodly efforts.  I won the fruit and veg basket for the second week running.  Wheehee, I think I deserved it.

So cheesed off with weight not budging I made a cake and ate the entire thing - 1080 calories or 33 syns depending on who I own up to.

I will waddle down to the allotment later and dig my little heart out but before that I need a little rest. All that cake!

Dog isn't well.

174

Hangover minimal.  Ate little cake - sublime.  That was my weekly cake fix.  Gorgeous.
Now tonight they want fish pie, need white fish really and some low fat something for me.  It is tempting to chuck in a vat of double cream.  I have to stay on this as losing weight is like being on sexy drugs.

173

I am still drunk from last night's Drink a pub dry and it is almost 6pm!

174

I lost 2 1/2 pounds.  I then won the raffle.  Oh I say what a jolly nice day.  

175

Oh no. But no headache.  Need to exercise as I am very tired and lazy.  Huge blood sugar dips.  Will look this up.

174

174 looks like we are going down but it was 179 a few days ago.  Oh stability where are you?

Weightloss headache is lurking.  Must eat.  Actually rather unfoody at the mo.

I am now on the WLR 100 day challenge - well, actually, I am heading it so they have to follow my example.

I will be golden.  Thank goodness Saturday's dinner party is cancelled.  It would have been boring people, awful food, naff house and terrible booze which I would have tipped down my throat. 

176

Weightloss gives me a headache.  This is so annoying.

Last night I saw Angela who has now lost two stone and looks SO much better.  She still weighs 13 and a half stone but looks like she weighs about 11.  Obviously a heavy person.  She really looks just fine.  Her key: no bread not booze.  Yeah booze.  Mmmm.

I am ready for the cake drop.  I have decided cake only on Saturdays.  Entire Victoria sponges will disappear but only one day a week.  I will do it.  Biscuits are banished.

Then it will be booze.  That is a tricky one though I have done it before so I can probably do it again.

178

I was asked last night if I am pregnant.  Oh Gawd.  I'm not am I?  Don't see how.  I think you are supposed to have sex to do that and I keep Mr Smith on rather short rations these days.  So mean.  Well, I am too fat.  I have to reduce this stomach, today, now.  Waddle waddle,  I swam yesterday.  Well done me.  I might eat very little today.  I know I will finish the cake because I will.  No biscuits, no bread, no diet coke, no chocolate, no cheese.  I should be able to manage that.

It's odd but since giving up bread and now biscuits and dc, my weight has increased.  Perhaps I should look at what I am eating rather than what I am not.  Shall I get a pregnancy test?

179

What happened?  I did not overeat any more than usual.  Why has my weight suddenly increased?  Well perhaps lack of exercise and too much ice cream, cake and alcohol.  No more.  This is diabolical.  

Cocacola and me

It is very very hot and I am getting fatter and fatter.  All this water is just staying on board.  I am lolling about like a ship in dock.  I want to get thinner.

Diet coke.  I have just read how evil and awful this stuff is.  I honestly thought because it was without cals it was the biz.  Actually, it keeps you fat just as much as the real stuff.  I need to drop it but I am probably addicted.  So it will be a gentle weening process.  Now that I know how terrible it is for you I am pretty hell bent on never touching it again.

So the list is:
Chocolate
Bread
Biscuits
Diet Coke.

176

I have woken up heavier than when I went to sleep.  How annoying is that.  Are there fat fairies that flit about administering fat to people throughout the night?  We did have a good dinner but not a gargantuan feast.  I an trying to work out how to lose two pounds before weigh in.  Even a massive poo probably isn't going to do more than 8oz max.

I have made a huge effort of late. Ideally I should have skipped dinner last night but PF was there so I had to sit down and eat with him.  I would so much have preferred a glass of water in front of the telly.  Bake off for torture!  Thursday's do need work.

175

I wish I could stop chasing the same five pounds round and round.  I was once 170.  Oh the bliss but oh the effort.  

176

I was expecting to have put on weight this weekend as I ate so much.  So nice that I haven't.

Saturday was a non stop hungover forage complete with amazing cake.
Yesterday was big breakfast, elevenses, big lunch, doughnut for tea, and gigantic bbq dins followed by amazing strawberry tart.  But I drank the water.  Not every sip yesterday but I did ok.  I am beginning to think it works, it is just hard work.

Mr Smith is going away for three days.  Oh how exciting. The boys will go back to their lair and I will be alone for three whole days and nights.  I could spend them in bed.  I won't.  Hairdressers first thing, then cleaning, laundry, ironing, getting boys off with all their laundry, visit mother in law and the allotment.  Painting and sewing.  I am going to be rushed off my trotters.  In fact 3 days is not nearly long enough.  One thing I will do is stick religiously to my diet.  I might have a piece of cake but I will not forage.  I have made fat burning soup to see me through the next few days.  There is also low fat jelly and lots of salad stuff.  I will send the scotch eggs and pork pies off with the boys to reside in their smelly fridge.

177

My son assures me if I drink lots of water I will get thin.  Well nothing is happening so far.  Maybe I am supposed to keep off the donuts and take some exercise.  Maybe without the water I would be heavier.

Barbecue for dinner - that is easy especially now that I don't eat bread.

My week looks so much easier to manage as Mr Smith is away.  I will freeze all leftovers and live off fat burning soup for three days.  And water.

176

I am immensely bored at weighing more than 170 lbs.

My new thing is water.  I downloaded an ap Water Your Body.  I told it I was an Olympian athlete who lives in a very hot climate because it was a bit it sunny and I dug the allotment.  When I owned up to being fat little sedentary me in the rain it lowered the prescribed water intake considerably.  It is now just about manageable.

I went to SW and was a hideous bigger than last week.  Why? Oh the gallons and gallons of water.  However, camel woman will continue to imbibe as it should be beneficial in some capacity.

Superbly weird cake in the oven.  I thínk it should be ok.  Figs and honey, somehow combined together without a calorie - probably not.

177

I put on weight and the idea is to lose it.

The void.  I have a terrible void which is sometimes a small chink and sometimes a huge gaping hole that needs filling but I have no idea with what.  Food doesn't seem to be it unless I eat til I am stuffed.  Drink might be the problem.  I can get very drunk and it closes up.  But the after effects are so ghastly I would rather not.  Smoking?  Sometimes that helps.  Company - maybe.  I think it is a feeling of wholeness and it is only full when I have achieved something.  A feeling of satisfaction is alluding me and I just don't seem to be able to fill the gap.  I am approaching it the wrong way.  I need to be told I am marvellous all the time and, although I do get at least one "brilliant" a day, it is just not enough.  I am never full.  I have to work this out otherwise I will be just stuffing and stuffing trying to fill the void and it will become ever larger and I will never be able to lose weight.

Things that make me really satisfied:
A good painting that sells.
A "brilliant" or similar sort of star for anything I have done.
A good piece of sewing.
A well grown vegetable.
A weightloss
A group of friends, nice ones.

But none of these make me satisfied for very long.  Of course when I look at that it is all about pride. If I feel proud of an achievement then I feel satisfied.  I haven't done anything that makes me feel proud lately.  All I have done is get drunk and stagger about with a hangover or slept all day or over eaten or done a teeny bit of painting.  Time to change that.

175

I know 175 is 5 more than my previous post but it was 179 so I have done well to get it back down again.  Swimming, less cake and less booze with more digging is my recipe.

Today I am going to a keep fit session at the seaside.  Am I bonkers?  Probably.  

Oh drat

It was only a 2lb weight loss but better than Amanda who lost only half!  Teehee.
Still, I weigh so much less than I did and I look sensational in my party dress.

170

Will it be 3lbs?  We will see.  Clothes yet to go on.  Something weightless.

171

Nearly there but then we're nearly there.  I did eat three cupcakes yesterday.  They were divine.  No wine.  Just one more pound.  If I don't eff it up today I will be victorious in my three pound by Friday challenge with Amanda Sewage.

Jobs to do today:
Swim
Sort out tyres
Oil my legs
Find tights
Pack for weekend away
Sort laundry - iron things.

I hope my ebay handbag turns up.  It declared delivery by Wed but that's been and gone.  No bag.

1736

Amanda Sewage has challenged me to lose 3lbs by Friday.

I might.  I will try.  Not just on Thursday.  It is going to be hard but it will mean every day I have to pay attention.  Story so far is pants.  Friday was cake scoffing followed by wine and Saturday was hangover from same wine with all the huge appetite and roaring hunger that comes with a hangover.

No sweet stuff.  If I can do one day I will feel miles better and it will all be much easier.

Making a quilt today.  Horrid rainy weather.  Will then snuggle under quilt - not really.

1740

I have to lose 4lbs in the next 4 hours.  

1745

I ate too many pancakes.

Careful day today. Fast day tomorrow.

Food today so far

Cereal and Alpro
Gooey cheese and ham x 2
Mini babybel
Avocado half
Celery
Swoop
3 biscuits.

1734

Going down.  I really feel 1690 coming my way.

I did the first fast day on 2:5.  It went well.  I had to resort to an emergency banana at 4 but apart from that it was straight celery all the way.

No breakfast
Soup for lunch - no bread
Banana for tea
Celery for snack
More soup then Stew for dinner.

I was starving.  I tried to stay busy.

1750

That's better.  A mere 5lbs to go to 1700.  Hup two three four.  Off to swimming.
I am still a little bit swollen.  

1760

Wow - 5lbs by lunchtime.

Holiday eating may not be brilliant but it is usually three meals a day with no biscuits or crisps in between and often features salad.

Holiday drinking on the other hand can be less moderate.

1810

That's pretty impressive - a 10lb weight gain on a 10 day holiday.  Much of it is water retention from flying.  My legs look like bolsters.

Time for a little nap.  Oh jet lag!

A

1725

I was self destructive yesterday. About once a year I have a Macburgers meal. This is for several reasons:-
I am there and starving and it is the only thing available.
I need to remind myself what much of the nation are shoving into their bodies then moaning they are obese.
I remind myself just how ghastly it is - A messy experience laden with billions of calories, eaten with no implements at filthy tables in plastic land with screaming children and tasting entirely of cardboard, especially the chips. 
I was at Burger King; they are all much the same. There is always at least one ingredient in the burger that I dislike. I carefully dodged the barbecue sauce by having it "my way" but they sneaked in something like salty wood shavings that was dreadful and I wondered if they had emptied the office pencil sharpeners into my burger. I ate it anyway. The chips tasted bitter and really dry - I covered them in ketchup and ate those too. Then I ate my napkin and straw - no I didn't but they would have been just as tasty. Actually I am now going to look up the calories in that poo fest. And here are the results: burger 955, fries 238. Total = 1 million.

1735

Going down, diet extremely hard work - hungry all the time.  Eating loads but mostly good things such as worthy bean swoop from slow cooker.  It's getting to the point where I will eat any soup that isn't this yucky stuff; actually, it is really nice but enough already.  I might make clear veg broth or chicken soup.

Went to gym and swimming.  Trying to figure out cross trainer but annoying man told me all about his head injury.  Someone had stabbed him in the head - pretty near to it myself.  Went for a swim instead.

Master plan - gym 3 times a week.  Only until holiday at end of month.

1745

Woops.
New Year.  New Resolutions.  New me?